Crisis shorters

the stupid continues to flow fast and free as Megan scrambles to find ways to pretend she has the slightest clue what's going on in the financial markets she's supposed to be an expert on. The main thing to remember is don't blame any rich people for this. Only the poor and homeless act in bad faith. Also, Megan is not going to admit she was wrong to think deregulation solves all ills, because she doesn't understand her mistake, or even recognize it. Part of the point of her avalanche of words is to help herself maintain that sphere of dense duh centered around her head.

The devil made me do it!:

Sure, House Repubs are acting like babies, but how dare Pelosi mention that the policies they pushed and I agree with them on are to blame for this mess? I AM NOT TO BLAME, PELOSI IS A TERRIBLE PERSON.

Why not nationalize, like Sweden?:

Do you really want to try a policy that works? What sort of example would that set for the rest of our government?

Prisoner's dilemma:

If I reference the two classical names I remember from prep school maybe you won't notice I have no fucking clue what I'm talking about.
Diogenes, Megan? Really? You do understand he was a dirty fucking hippie who lived off the Athenian dole, right?

The politics of the bill:

Is anyone else sick of me using the word "arguendo"?
Anyhow, Pelosi is to blame for the failure of the opposite party to deliver their votes on a bill their leadership supposedly supported. How dare she talk about the failure of my deregulatory philosophy at a time when it's helped cause a republic shaking crisis? Now is the time to kiss my ass and those like me, not to try to shame us into silence for having fucked up in the first place. It's not like we know what shame is, anyway.

Open thread on alternate plans:

I, ummm, am too lazy to find the other plans being proposed as alternatves, so tell me about them. I'll try to find time to read your comments between moments of acting indignant.

Raising Arizona:

There is a rumor, which you may have heard, that John McCain's famous return to Washington actually scuttled a deal last week, plunging us into the weekend's negotiations which resulted in . . . no deal. The nastiest interpretation is that he wanted to position the Republicans as against the bailout so he could run on that "principle". But the thing is unprovable, and so I haven't blogged it.

I have blogged conspiracy theory Republican talking points about how everyone but the people who voted against the bill are to blame, but I have too much respect for the candidacy of someone I claim to loathe to subject it to the same lack of standards or integrity I use to guide my work on every other topic. And yes, you could point out the inherent hypocrisy of saying "I haven't blogged" about something I'm blogging about as I write that very phrase, but only if you want to be banned.

A quickie on the Palin post will follow in a moment.