Oh, Fuck Yes!

OMG! Guys! Seriously, this is just fucking great! I mean, I don't know whether to write an entire novel based on this post or just create what may be the most hilarious Megan shorter ever. Oh, wait, the latter is much much less work.

Short Megan McArdle:

Kick 'Em When They're Down:
Usually I laud the free market when it fucks people in the ass. However -- having almost been denied an iPhone and embarrassed in front of the rest of the Juice Box Mafia by a credit check -- I'm going to say that employers who perform credit checks on their potential employees are horrible, horrible people. People who have bad credit might sometimes be idiots that can't keep track of their lives and diddle around from job to job until they find something for which having extreme ADD is not a liability, but sometimes they're just regular Jane's like me.

OK, that was a long shorter, but fuck if that post isn't an instant classic.

You've Got to be Fucking Kidding Me

Remember how Megan really loved TARP? I mean, yeah, she hates government economic intervention but the American economy is completely beholden to rich peoplethe banks and so it was a necessary evil. I guess that means she's going to really like Geither's new plan to stabilize the banking sector.

The Wall Street Journal adds that "critical details of the plan remained unanswered, despite the weeks of planning leading up to Tuesday's announcement." Plan? That's not a plan, it's a fervent wish. No details at all on the foreclosure program, and precious few beyond platitudes about the mechanisms for dealing with toxic assets. The only real new information is the amount: $1 trillion total, $500 billion to start.

I don't envy Geithner his position. But he's known this was coming for months. I expected a little more than telling us that he wanted to spend a lot of money to help banks clean up their balance sheets. We knew that much already.

God, he's such an idiot! Why couldn't he have an extensive, transparent three-page plan like Bernake did! I mean, Geither didn't even get on his knees and beg like the good little capital worshiping lackey the head of The Treasury (that's, uh, what Geither does, right?) is supposed to be.

I mean, housing prices had only been plummeting for years so it's not like Bernake had time to see the collapse coming or anything. It's not like a couple of physical scientists like myself and my brother who have no formal training in economics whatsoever saw this coming a mile away and pulled out of the market months before the dive.

IT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT YOU GUYS! Also, it has NOTHING to do with the fact that Geither is a Democrat. Nope, nothing at all.

Geither should just listen to Megan's great ideas like, uh, the one about, um, giving banks a lot of money with no strings attached and the other one about, uh, like sucking off bank executives or something. I dunno. I forget what they are but she totally has some brilliant ideas.

Hat Tip

To our partner in obsession, Susan, for this find.

The theme of the party was Republicanism, given the convention for which several of the bloggers were in town. In keeping with the theme, Megan (who bills herself as a “libertarian,” which as someone at the party noted is what Republicans call themselves when they’re embarrassed to admit they’re Republicans) did all the cooking and waited on the mostly male assemblage hand and foot — barefoot, at that — and clad in a ’50s-housewife-style blouse and skirt and lace apron, the table decorated with two lilac blooms and a small American flag, and so on. The meal, along the same lines, consisted of glazed chicken, homemade dinner rolls, potato salad,
homemade peach pies and, the pièce de résistance, jello salad.

She thinks she's making fun of others, but she's making fun of herself. It's brilliant.

I'm shocked!!!

Megan, today, admits that she doesn't feel that icky libertarian itch with the Bear bail-out. SHOCK-O-FUCKING-LA.

I actually kind of agree with her; it'd be pretty awful if the Bear shit hit the fan in the woods and all of the credit industry went to pieces. Of course, she can make me hate her even when we agree. How come she knee jerk says "the borrowers must lose their homes or else ARMAGEDDON SOCIALISM STARVATION EVERYONE DIES OMG PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY" but is only mildly qualmed by the bailout of a large corporate entity, the brunt of the pain of which will be felt by people other than the ones who created the gigantic fucking mess? I think this is the point where Brad w0uld use the words "shill," "corporate" and "whore" in a sentence. Usually, when he does that, I think he might be going a tad too far. Now, I'm starting to see what the smelly hippie is saying.

No links, cause I allegedly quit.