Working Holiday

Four shorterized items. (Btw, I know I've been lax about the cat porn. If anyone cares, do chime in.)

Your morning retail report: While millions of Americans have switched their holdiay shopping to Amazon or other online retailers, my brief visit to an outlet mall makes it quite clear the economy is about to tank. Put all your money into shotguns and canned goods, folks.
(By this logic, no one is flying this holiday season, because the Jetblue terminal at JFK wasn't crowded for me yesterday. And yes, I know the economy isn't actually healthy.)

Ron Paul = protest vote?: Let me ask you a very serious question; am I a registered Republican? Because I'm not sure if I should vote for Ron Paul in the primary.

Senior moments: Once again, let's remember not to blame banks for extending credit to people obviously unqualified for it. The fault lies with those old or dumb people who take money offered to them by folk from a bank telling them repayment will be eaaaaaasy. The system is fine and great, and changing it will only prevent further old and dumb people from being buried under debt from credit they never should have received (or been aggressively offered).

Department of mathematical illusion: Some people are bad at math. This means Social Security is going to collapse, and we should just scrap it for lottery tickets investing in the stock market. WE'VE GOTTA CLOSE THE BEACHES!!!!!!!