Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Nausea/Bloody Red Eyes (UPDATED)

MM & the D. C. Bugger Army get together to assuage their hangovers. It involves "humanely raised" bacon & chicken sausage. No pronouncement on whether the scrambled eggs have to be from "free range" chickens, however. The egg recipe includes ½ cup sweet cream. Is that humane? For the humans eating it, I mean? How about the cows whence the sweet cream & egg nog components come? Do they have to be "free range?" Or is it permissible that the cows be penned up, or kept in the dairy barn all day & all night & all afternoon?

How 'bout the working conditions for the coffee bean & tea leaf plantation workers? The farm labor that picks the lemons, nutmeg & cinnamon? The "retail associate" wage slaves in the "up-scale" stores where this crap is purchased? The distillery & winery workers? We know, according to "natural law,"¹ that it is immoral for the gov't. to take one fucking penny of what anyone has earned, and then give it to another, but has there been a "natural law" ruling on capitalist pigs taking the surplus value of the workers' labor & keeping as much as possible for themselves, and handing some over to non-working parasites like managers & stockholders? Which "natural" court would that get tried in, by the way?

And how does Ms. McArdle know that any of the over-priced shit she's buying is truly "humanely raised?" 'Cause it's written on the package? 'Cause it's over-priced? We've all heard about "organic" food that's merely labeled that way. Has Megan made unannounced inspections of the farms, ranches & abattoirs to confirm this humaneness? If she hasn't, chances are good she's getting smoke blown up her ass. And as one of the commenters asked:

Is the bacon killed humanely? Lethal injection? Allowed to die of old age?
Poser.
Posted by Vegan Vacardle
Other idiocies:

Eggnog:
Open carton. Pour in whiskey if desired.
Really? I get that one should open the carton. But does one pour the whiskey in the carton? No bowl involved? If one desires brandy or rum, are they permitted? Or does it have to be whiskey? Is a hangover tantrum thrown if instructions/ingredients aren't followed to the letter?
Humanely raised chicken sausage: I don't really have to tell you how to cook sausage, do I?
Well, you felt it necessary to tell us how to cook bacon, didn't you? (In a fucking microwave, yet. Does that add to the humaneness?) And you felt it necessary to advise us to open the egg nog carton, and implied that we should pour the booze into said carton. Why the sudden slowdown on the pontification? We'd love to be told how to cook humanely raised chicken sausage. (Like hell! Sausage is made from pork, not chicken, you inane drone.)

And if you wander to MM's Big Load Of Garbage, don't click on the Best Pancakes Ever. It's a colossal waste of time & effort. (Although, in the bigger picture, what isn't?)

Footnote:
¹Really, what is this "natural law" crap, anyway? The natural law is nothing more than "kill or be killed, "survival of the fittest" & all that shit. There is no "morality" involved, especially when "natural law" is used to whine about the "morality" of taxation, but never applied to capitalist exploitation of people's labor.


(UPDATE 3 January 2008 @ 0715 EST): Do look at the commenters, who school Ms. McMegan righteously on her microwave bacon instructions. How would she want us to cook chickenshitsausages, anyway? And check the last two comments (@ 2 Jan, 1508 & 1701) for some real "humour."

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is Megan going to start putting the words "humanely raised/killed" before every mention of a meat product she has or intends to consume? Because that will be almost as annoying as the British spelling schtick she went on a while back.

M. Bouffant said...

Apparently she is allowed to work w/o an editor, or any supervision at all. The consensus is that she took up the Anglicisms when writing for The Economist, though you'd think someone there could have checked for Americanisms (Spellcheck, any one?) but why she can't return to her native spelling at The Atlantic & why no one is checking her is beyond me. And why didn't she do her recipes in metric measures?

tinisoli said...

I was being funny when I suggested a blog post on butt wiping, but now that I think about it, I do wonder if Megan knows to wipe from front to back.