Truly Easy

Shorter Megan McArdle:

TBogg Endorses Truthiness

I don't know what either "truthiness" or "concern troll" means.

Oh, Fuck Yes!

OMG! Guys! Seriously, this is just fucking great! I mean, I don't know whether to write an entire novel based on this post or just create what may be the most hilarious Megan shorter ever. Oh, wait, the latter is much much less work.

Short Megan McArdle:

Kick 'Em When They're Down:
Usually I laud the free market when it fucks people in the ass. However -- having almost been denied an iPhone and embarrassed in front of the rest of the Juice Box Mafia by a credit check -- I'm going to say that employers who perform credit checks on their potential employees are horrible, horrible people. People who have bad credit might sometimes be idiots that can't keep track of their lives and diddle around from job to job until they find something for which having extreme ADD is not a liability, but sometimes they're just regular Jane's like me.

OK, that was a long shorter, but fuck if that post isn't an instant classic.

Pogs and Beanie Babies are not Good Investments

Shorter Derek Lowe Megan McArdle:
If you're going to sell someone useless shit, make sure it's harmless useless shit. God, me and my friends are so much smarter than everyone else.

Why Are Other People as Stupid as Me?

Shorter Megan McArdle:
I don't understand why anyone would watch wedding shows unless they're retarded. I used to watch wedding shows all the time. Wait, I figured out who wants to watch these shows but I think they don't really exist. These mythical creatures are called "young women*" and notoriously low on purchasing power and free time. Also, I'm mentioning weddings and Peter in the same breath again because I'm not at all very subtle at all.

*Actually, she calls them the "pre-married" because apparently she's very bitter about her past self.

UPDTAE:
Bonus Shorter:
I have nothing to say which totally makes me smarter than everyone else.