In Which Ms. McArdle Continues To Stick Up For Banks

And I continue to mock her, merely by copying selected parts of her items. Not taken out of context at all. (It's the Interthing, you may click directly for full context.) No, selecting just a paragraph or three isolates the more offending parts from the general noise & froth & allows focus on the inanities that glazed eyes may miss.

Banks need to be taught a lesson for their stupid lending It all sounds very emergent and spontaneous and Hayekian: a nation of freelance bank regulators. Every man his own bankruptcy judge!

All well and good, except that if you are walking away from a mortgage simply because the house is underwater, you have no authority to punish them. After all, the reason it was stupid to lend money to you is not that they were lending money to someone who probably couldn't pay it back; you can. The reason that it was stupid to lend money to you is that you're a deadbeat--a foolish deadbeat, who thought that house prices are a magic route to free money. That's not something they could reasonably have been expected to know. Also, "banks need to be punished for being almost as stupid and greedy as I am" doesn't have much of a ring to it.

No, the bank would have had no reason to know that "you're a deadbeat--a foolish deadbeat," because all that the banks had to say on the subject was to be sober, save & not take out any second mortgages because the bubble was about to burst. Remember?

Suggestions on reconciling the bold title part w/ the rest of the typing here are solicited:

Companies act like faceless automatons, so we should too.  This is not actually true.  Imagine a bank that actually did only what is specified in their contract with you, and not an inch more.  That would be a bank you'd like a lot less than any existing bank, and with good reason.  They are restrained by various norms, and competitive pressure.  This is not to say that they always behave well.  But they do not, in fact, simply live by the letter of the contract, and if you think they do, I invite you to read me the part in your contract where they have to provide a customer service person who speaks adequate English and doesn't burst into violent profanity when you ask for a mortgage modification.

Moreover, the way to punish them for behaving badly is either to regulate the bad behavior, or refuse to patronize banks that behave badly, not to simply walk away from your house loan.

You just sit there & hold this bag until we get those regulations passed & enforced, or until a too-big-to-fail institution goes under because it behaved so badly there was a run on it. We'll be right back.

Compare & Contrast For Consistency, Or: Trying To Stir Up Some Shit Here

Conor Friedersdorf on his constructive InstaPundit criticism:

I am a writer. When I critique people or sites, it isn’t because I’ve got a personal grudge against them, or because I want them to fail, or because I want to divide and conquer them, whatever that means — it is because I think they are wrong on some matter of substance.

The very same Mr. Friedersdorf on something closer to my heart:

Perhaps that was just Mr. Friedersdorf on his own time, not something that he typed as "a writer." In which case he should use a different name, or add a clever disclaimer to his profile like: "Not the 'serious' me, expect no consistency w/ my claims of substance."

Random Music

Me likey, maybe you will too.

I have some old Meganpoop I'm going to explore before I wade back into the live flow, I think Susan has done one or two of them but that doesn't have to stop me. Besides, she n Nutella need a break beyond M.'s help, it seems Megan's ability to just keep on crapping surpasses the efforts of many to point out that fact.

Flogging My Own Hobby Horse

So NJ has medical marijuana now. It appears it won't be the free-for-all fun like there is here in CA, but it's a good start.

However, I have to hate on this NYT article for this sentence:

Under California law, residents can obtain legal marijuana for a list of maladies as common, and as vaguely defined, as anxiety or chronic pain.

Hey, assholes, chronic pain isn't poorly defined. I have a simple questionnaire that can diagnose it quickly and easily.

1) Do you suffer from recurring pain that inhibits your daily life and does not respond to to typical treatments and remedies

If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, congratulations! Pain specialists agree that it's all in your head and you need to stop all the goddamn whining for fuck's sake. Any certified physician will gladly write you a prescription for nutting the fuck up.

Assholes.

Also, I'm pretty sure anxiety can be diagnosed, but I'm not such an expert on that.

Those We Dislike

We've been waiting for it:

Clinton's remarks clearly have an alternative, non-racial interpretation, and while Harry Reid may have been flashing back to his political salad days when Democrats regularly congratulated themselves on their openness to Negros[sic], it's more unfortunate than problematic. I only wish that all the liberals rushing to defend them would apply the same good faith presumption when Republicans are involved.  Even if the president is black, there will be many people who disagree with him vigorously and angrily; this is not, per se, evidence of racism.  Nor is it possible to police every offhand remark which could have racist connotations. If there is any good thing about the Reid kerfuffle, it's that with the charge of hypocrisy waiting in the wings, we can perhaps now spend a little less energy scrutinizing those we dislike for signs of racial bias.

Nope, Megan can't let anyone off the hook w/o digging the hook in a bit on the way out. And not a word on any of the scrutinizers trying to make Sen. Reid's awkward wording the equivalent of Sen. Lott's "We'd all be better off if Jim Crow were still around" masterpiece.

Elements of Style©: Not to scrutinize anyone we dislike for anything, but "Negros?" Check w/ Dan Quayle on this one.

A Message for Conor Friedersdorf

I would just like to thank Conor Friedersdorf for the following:

Wow, I didn't realize that this site still exists. What a curious and cowardly species of person who labors on in obscurity for years on end ranting against a blogger who, FYI, no one is forcing you to read! The unwillingness to do so under your own name speaks volumes.

Sage advice, friend. Taken to heart. Perhaps we might reciprocate, Conor Friedersdorf?

For, let me advise you that no one forces you to google "Conor Friedersdorf" EVERY FRACKING DAY and then come to any blogs saying negative things and post your Conor Friedersdorf wisdom. We know, Conor Friedersdorf, that is hard to have unrequited love, but compensating by being overly defensive of the amores who'd not have you back (Conor Friedersdorf and Megan McArdle) on obscure blogs for years on end doesn't seem like the best way to go about life, Conor Friedersdorf.

So thanks for your visit, Conor Friedersdorf. We hope to see Conor Friedersdorf again sometime soon.

Sincerely,
Conor Friedersdorf

brad adds:

I'd like to apologize to the blogger/writer/renaissance man we have repeatedly misidentified here as Conor Friedersdorf. His name, of course, is actually Conor Freihofer. Not Conor Friedersdorf, Conor Freihofer. Ask him about his cookies.

And neither Conor Friedersdorf, Conor Freihofer, nor myself are Ann Althouse, at least to my knowledge.

War Among The Passive-Aggressive

Young Conor Friedersdorf, Washington Media Village utility player, substitute typist & seasonal fill-in, analyzes Robot From The Future Glenn Reynolds, wherein we are expected to swallow this:

People like reading Instapundit! He brightens the days of so many office workers. I am not being flip. That is truly significant. So are the digital camera recommendations, the links to great Radley Balko and Megan McArdle stories ...

Well, one must stop there, mustn't one?

Especially when Friedersdorf's main complaint w/ Reynolds is summed up by this:

So many posts either pander to or coddle the movement conservative’s ideological preconceptions — so you have controversial plank X in the Tea Party platform, and Professor Reynolds signals his agreement with it, almost always without any argument about why it is correct. Other times he actually disagrees with plank X, something he’ll occasionally make known, but very seldom does he actually argue against plank X, or try to change anyone’s mind about it. Instead he’ll note that while he happens to be against plank X, other people who are against it are silly or annoying or hypocritical or ham-handed in their advocacy or approaching things in the wrong way or are the subject of a really funny Mark Steyn one-liner.

which could as easily be directed at Ms. McArdle as at Prof. Reynolds. (Except for the "funny Mark Steyn one-liner," because that's an oxymoron; & I don't remember McArdle ever linking to M.S.)

First spotted at Balloon Juice, as if that should make any fucking difference to anyone at all, ever.

Something I've NEVER Said Before

FUCK YOU IN THE ASS NJ.

so. fucking. gay.

Unintentional Honesty Via Rank Stupidity

I've been sitting on this lil gem a while now. Consider this a practice post before I start back in on Megan's poopstream. And now, brought to you by Big Hollywood,

A LOVE LETTER (To Glenn Beck) by Victoria Jackson

I think of you often.

None of the following is made up or in any way altered for added comedic effect.

I’m getting my fake fingernails put on and I’m thinking of you. I have a pitch meeting at Pie Town tomorrow and I chewed all my real fingernails off last night watching Anita Dunn express her admiration for Mao Tse Tung. Thank you for exposing yet another enemy of our freedom. You are so passionate and curious and smart and real. Sigh. I look at my Vietnamese manicurist and pedicurist and smile. I ask them their names. Katie. Kathy. Hmm. I glance around the nail salon. The decor is...

Hmm, indeed.

The woman next to me is speaking Armenian into her cell phone. I can’t really discuss politics with Katie and Kathy, language barrier, so I glance at the TIME magazine next to my arm. Some liberal, Joe Klein is trying to tell the truth about ObamaCare, but not quite pulling it off. Then, he attacks my Rush and my Beck and my heart speeds up. My cheeks turn red. He writes, “…it is also possible that the Limbaugh and Glenn Beck – inspired poison will spread from right-wing nutters to moderates and independents…” Poison? Poison?

Truth… is Poison to the guilty. It stings.

Her Rush and her Beck are poisoning us.... with truth. The truth will set you free kill you.

Glenn Beck, I must confess I love the other Truth Tellers too; Breitbart, Giles, O’Keefe, Hannity, Ziegler, Rush, Rove, Crowley, Ingraham, Hewitt, Huckabee, Jindal, Miller, Palin, Prager, Pawlenty, Weaver, Gingrich, Keyes, and of course, Jesus, the Ultimate Truth. (John 14:6)

If Sarah can't beat em, Pawlenty can! Yaaaaay team Jebus!

But I must especially thank you Glenn Beck for your blackboard. I love your blackboard! And your thorough research. Your facts. Your diagrams. Your teaching. Finally, someone is clearly explaining to us, the taxpayers, exactly what is happening inside that mysterious, gigantic, corrupt political system we have. We, the working middle class, have always been afraid of the machine, and I think the politicians/criminals wanted it that way.

It takes a mind capable of the logical consistency behind saying "We, the working middle class" and "I’m getting my fake fingernails put on and I’m thinking of you. I have a pitch meeting at Pie Town tomorrow" to find Glenn Beck's blackboard and diagrams to be clear.
However, let's not gloss over the clear eliminationist tones of her next few lines. I'm not worried about Victoria Jackson coming to get me in the night, but then that's not the point.

With their pompous, pious faces and sneaky hands, they have been stealing and lying. We were too busy raising children, working and going to church to have time to research them. Now, finally, one man has done it. Cracked the Code. Exposed the Fraud. Shone the Light on the Basement Rats! Now, the rats are all scurrying around, all nervous. They are calling The Man With The Flashlight names. Mean names. Squeak! Squeak!

Glenn Beck uses truth to poison the rats. He's a virtual exterminator of vermin.

Glenn Beck, thank you for answering my questions. One day I was wondering who those “czars” were who had slipped into the White House, under the radar…I flipped your show on, and you told me! It’s like you read my mind! One day I was wondering what real doctors think of ObamaCare, not the fake doctors Obama rigged for his photo shoot, but real ones. I popped on your show, and there you all were…debating, having a real discussion, like grown ups. Obama’s speeches are all fake and they say nothing. Cotton candy for stupid people. But, you Glenn Beck, you are a thinker. Like me. You are unbiased. Like me. You are simply seeking Truth, just like me.

Victoria Jackson just called you stupid, and herself a thinker. Merry late Jebusmas.
I'm going to keep quoting long chunks of her post, because it's worth it.

If one day, Glenn Beck, you become embroiled in a scandal, and you turn out to be imperfect as all heroes put up on pedestals turn out to be, I will forgive you and forever be grateful for one thing…the elegant way you introduced the Green Jobs Czar, Mr. Van Jones to the public and then ushered him silently out the door. That was awesome! ( It also helps me prove the fact that Obama is a Communist. A Capitalist would not appoint a Communist as an advisor! ) It was as exciting as watching Giles/O’Keefe/Breitbart bring down the corrupt Acorn. This is great stuff! To you heroes, we thank you. We really, really, really love you. You’re cool. You’re brave. You’re smart. And, you tell the truth!

And your dick is so big! And now the money shot;

The truth has a beautiful ring to it. It pours smoothly through the ears and forms a golden, peaceful puddle in the heart. It reassures one that there is still a drop of good in the world. Truth is Beautiful.

The truth... forms a puddle. In the heart. I'd point out the inherent flaw in her assumption that the truth is pleasant to hear but if you've made it this far you can't hear me over your laughter.
She has more to say, but I think we'll end this long post with the picture she included, about which no comment is necessary.

Compare and Contrast

I wish that Nate Silver were African American so that we could compare him literally versus Megan's pasty white ass as well as figurative against the pristine landscape that represents her knowledge base on what she discusses.

Her article on the latest Rasmussen poll showed up on my google reader.

Right below it was Silver's take on the exact same.

She spells Massachusetts wrong in her title.

Yeah, seriously, why do we bother.