Americium Football

These Manning/Timberlake commercials are pretty much ensuring beyond all doubt I will never buy a Sony again. I don't care if those fuckers cure cancer and then donate their profits from that cure to renewable starving puppies. I can never forgive them for the monsoon of smarm they release upon me every time I sit down to watch some damn soccer.

Hey, look, the tag is appropriate now!

OMG, it just came on again as I was posting this. FUCKING WHORE.

Manningicide should be legal. Timberlake can get off with extensive torture, castration and the removal of his voice box, but Manning(s) have to fucking die.

My New Career

Megan's stupid. I've decided to become an internet sensation instead of worrying about her. Here's my first go at it. I'm pretty sure it will be the most popular video on the internet in a few hours.

Dear Tbogg,

I'd just like to point out I thought of dumping responsibility for mocking Megan on Susan first. Mhm.
Carry on.

Now That We Won't Have Megatron To Kick Around For A Wk. Or Two

Megan to get hitched: Better late than never, eh? (Full disclosure: This reporter has never been married. As a libertarian libertine I'm much too dedicated to my freedom principles to enter into a contract w/ someone for emotional support or whatever the hell they do this for.)

And this is not funny:

We are finally on the brink of that happy moment that every girl dreams of:  a qualified change in family status under section 125 of the tax code.

And I've no idea why they think it's funny. The intention may be self-deprecation, but it's usually more self-revelatory.

This may be a revelation as well:

It turns out weddings are complicated, and require a great deal of last-minute detail management. Especially when you have to push your column through fact check before you are allowed to depart.

Not that weddings are a pain, but the resentment behind "push through fact check."

Other mental images to be avoided (As well as use of "hopefully."):

hopefully I'll come back fortified by blissful romance + long hours spent lying on the beach.

I won't wish the future Mrs. Suderman ill. (Don't forget the sun-block!) The present Mr. Suderman, well, good luck, pal.

Cobwebs

obviously FMM has gone stale. I can't speak for Nutella or M., but while I'm not going to say I'll never post again, I have no interest in reading any of Megan's words in the foreseeable future. As whoever is reading this probably knows, Susan continues to hold her nose and wade in, generally doing a better job of refuting Megan than our point and laugh method ever did.
I'm a contentious, moody, cranky fuck, but even I can't stay reactive forever, and, much as I love them, it's easy to lose sight of how ultimately unimportant even the biggest blogs really are. The truth is constantly reading and responding to Megan left me picking up some of her habits; the intellectual laziness, the glibness, and the poor writing. It rarely requires any actual effort to point out the flaws in her arguments, so I rarely put any in. The Nietzschean in me can't help but think of the line "if you stare into the Abyss long enough the Abyss stares back at you".
I'm not shutting this down, I still have vague plans to re-purpose FMM along slightly broader lines, it's not like The Atlantic is the only once respected imprint currently employing useful fucking idiots, and libertarians continue to exist, Reason is always good for a laugh. But for the time being, at least, FMM will probably remain dormant. Anyways, thank you for reading and commenting and making the best moments here more than just us ranting about Megan.
And here's a random vid I took back in April of Thom Yorke covering "All For The Best" during the solo portion of an Atoms For Peace show.