Saturday, September 26, 2009

A Tale of Two Conspiracies

In the left corner we have:

I have no idea what to think about the accusation that an NBC producer responded to a blast email from Americans for Limited Government by writing "Bite me, jew boy!"

It's so bizarre that I simply can't believe that an NBC producer did this. But it's also so bizarre that it's not actually all that much more plausible that Americans for Limited Government made the thing up. It's not like they're playing to the common stereotype that the television world is hostile to Jews.
This is a pressing question! I hope Mrs. Super-Sleuth is on it:
The most likely explanation is that someone punk'd them. But who? And how?
Ashton Kutcher, you devious fucker! How did you know how to intercept an NBC producers email at exactly the right time to create such madness?

In the right corner:
Also in the "too bizarre to accurately categorize" is the murder of a part-time census worker in Kentucky, who was found hanged in a remote area. He had the word "fed" scrawled on his chest, which suggests anti-government loons.
Browbeaten into submission by commentorsIn the interest of bipartisanship; Our fair heroine turns her discerning eyes to the case of the "something actually happened and figuring out motive is actually worthwhile." A mere several days after his murder, McDetective cracks the file and puts on her thinking cap.
But the census is not a traditional bugbear of said loons, who don't generally regard apportionment as an unpardonable blow against liberty.
Initial investigations reveal fowl play, but the magnificent magnifying glass in the mind of McArdle sees more! Michele Bachmann is just a red herring, and not part of traditional bugbears! She's on about atraditional bugbears and hence has no bearing on the case!
It sort of defies the imagination that a resurgent militia would decide to start its reign of terror by kidnapping a schoolteacher in his fifties who happens to do census work on the side.
You see, this murder defies rational thought, making it suspicious. Most men who take lives are well reasoned, meticulous and cunning. McArdle knows this because she knows the mind of the criminal like the back of her head.

Was this man murdered and humiliated while canvassing for the census by a paranoid right-wing fanatic spurred on by hateful calls to resist a completely benign government operation, or did a drug dealer find him, kill him, strip him naked, bind his hands and feet, gag him, drag him to a cemetery and hang him from a tree in order to throw the police of his tail?

Tune in next week for the dramatic conclusion of "Willful Ignorance: The Partisan Detective!"

8 comments:

Susan of Texas said...

Nothing will convince her commenter of the truth. They have an infinite number of excuses to avoid it. Gee, the ID was taped to his body and he had fed on his chest and he was hanged in a cemetery, but it must have been drug.

And the right has been ginning up fear re. the census and ACORN all summer but nobody ever said anything against the censu.

But a guy on a killing spree shot an annoying anti-abortion nut, so all's square.

clever pseudonym said...

What stereotype that the television world is hostile to the Jews? The television world IS the Jews. What in the world is she talking about?

But the census is not a traditional bugbear of said loons, who don't generally regard apportionment as an unpardonable blow against liberty.

Megan, I'm begging you, put the thesaurus down. Your writing is PAINFUL.

And gee...paranoid, self-important anti-government freaktards who have had the embers of their anger stoked by the current administration certainly wouldn't have any dislike for a guy showing up and their door asking them where they work, how much they earn, how many members there are in their household, what kind of car they drive and if they own any guns. Besides, how does this "defy the imagination"? These are people that blow up federal buildings in the name of their distrust of government. What's one little old census taker?

I'm not even going to read the comments under that post at her site. I don't want to be sick.

NutellaonToast said...

I think you missed a "not" in the jews thing, but otherwise yeah.

Anonymous said...

It's foul play. Unless you think poultry was to blame.

Downpuppy said...

Such as a loon?

The right wind crazy/meth head connection has been out in the open since the love child of Ed Grimley & kd lang was arrested in Denver last year.

http://cbs4denver.com/investigates/assisination.plot.obama.2.802827.html

Dhalgren said...

"Make me, fucko."

Man, that is one awesome, infuriating thread.

Dhalgren said...

And Nimed had it perfectly right - Megan's pattern has been totally exposed for the millionth time.

clever pseudonym said...

I finally dipped my toes in that thread, thanks to you, Dhalgren. Yeah, there's some disgusting crap in there, but shit. Will Megan please write a post explaining what "ad hominem" means to her readers? They don't seem to understand. I'd even give her a free pass on her usual condescending tone. Her readers have clearly earned it.