In My Fantasy

In my fantasy, legislative decisions have some remotely plausible grounding in practicality.

Drill for babies!

It's simple arithmetic, assholes. When your oil reserves equal approximately 16 seconds of your oil consumption, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE YOU DRILL.

Acquired Situational Narcissism.

I honestly have no fucking idea what is going on over here, but I came across this gem which has to be the best sentence I've ever read.

It’s debatable whether blogs constitute “the modern academy.”

That would be my favorite day ever, the day that I got to see that "debate." Academy awards, maybe? I could see blawgs being as serious as those....

You've Probably Seen This Already

but for both of you who haven't, enjoy.

Heehee

Megan made a music video, but embedding is disabled so you'll have to click over to see.
I think Peter did the camerawork and editing.

Ur Doin It Wrong

Fire Nancy Pelosi.
Sigh.

Fire Andrea Mitchell (no link needed) was at least funny in an unintentional way, because who on the left is going to disagree? She's married to Greenspan, ffs. But really, RNC, the point of the fire person x meme which I blatantly stole from FJM is to not be the kind of jackass who substitutes preconceived notions for argument and factoids for facts. (Factoids are to facts as anything you can buy in a gas station mart is to actual food.)
What kind of self-aware joke do you think the Fire Pelosi people are capable of? "I'd probably have too much trouble getting hard to rape her." Oy.
Gotta love that it has a Michael Steele quote up top. Is he an ace Alinskyite covert operative or what?

Hey, Assholes

Great, so like 60% of people want us to throw bankers in jail or some shit for ruining everything and it's, like, yeah, I hate the fuckers, too, but hey, asshole guess what? FUCK YOU!

You're in the fucking market, eh? You loved your 401k from 01 to 08, didn't ya? What? was investing not another way to solidify your money while keeping it from the down trodden back when the market was climbing? Oh? Betcha ya even still got that 401k dontcha?

Throw your-fucking-selves in jail. this is the same shit as the fucking Iraq war. OMG ABU GRABBI WAS HORRIBLE.

you support war, you get fucking casualties. the generals are to blame, fo' sho', but so is your dumb ass.

As Always

The Voice of Reason

Not the Outcome I'd Have Expected

If you had presented me with this situation as a hypothetical, I'd have guessed that the correct answer would be "two fatalities."

Spoiler Alert: No adrenaline junkies were harmed in the making of this video:

Ahhhhhh

I'm watching Fox News. The lies, they are like sweet, sweet candy today. Nutella is, of course, absolutely right in that this victory has absolutely nothing to do with Megan, it's about people, and, at heart, acknowledging and valuing our shared humanity.
But fuck if the right's reaction isn't making me feel like I'm eating dessert first.
And frankly, I almost don't blame Megan for feeling like this is all about her. She dug a big ole hole for herself, and now we get to bury her in it.
Her whiny, irrational, sore loser posts have already been taken apart far and wide, so I'd just like to highlight a passage from one that might get overlooked;

What I hope is that the Democrats take a beating at the ballot boxand [sic] rethink their contempt for those mouth-breathing illiterates in the electorate. I hope Obama gets his wish to be a one-term president who passed health care. Not because I think I will like his opponent--I very much doubt that I will support much of anything Obama's opponent says. But because politicians shouldn't feel that the best route to electoral success is to lie to the voters, and then ignore them.

That closing line is such a thing of beauty. How dare Obama enact one of the central planks of his campaign platform? What kind of liar tells you what he's going to do before you even give him the chance to do it, then actually goes out and does it?
At least he'll pay for it in 2012, when Palin in no way, shape, or form turns herself into the conservative Mondale. That bastard Obama lived up to a campaign promise and accomplished something every President since Truman has failed to do, he's toast.

Wrong Again

adsogijadsog

Obviously, yes, I was upset yesterday. I'm glad that this could bring so much joy to peoples' hearts, and of course to know that for many people, the happiest part of passing health care reform seems to have been knowing that it made people like me unhappy.

GOD DAMN IT CUNT FACE.

NO

The fact that 32 million people getting access to doctors does not make you happy makes NONE OF US HAPPY.

You are the abyss, Megan, and you kill our souls when you stare back.

UGH.

Wahmbulance

Shorter Meganadsfhgbo;aj

"When congress passes hugely unpopular legislation that I like it's because they're smarter than the public. When it passes unpopular legislation that I don't like it's because democrats are poopyheads."

Yup, in Megan stupid cunty land, she can openly fuck the shit outta TARP but HCR is fucking kryptonite. Banks deserve money. People deserve the backside of the invisible hand and, yeah, I'm not apologizing. That stupid whore is a fucking cuntsicle, with a stick right up her ass, a dry barren wasteland between her legs, a pot o' gold where her heart is, and a swirling vortex betwixt the eyes.

FUCK SHIT PISS PENIS ASS WHORE COCK CRAP FOURLETTERWORDSOUTYERASS.

Why do I keep ending up back at her fucking webblogawful.

typo no formatting you're lucky I put in a link fuck off and die world it's made of god damn rotten fungus toecheese assholes with a knife in my nipples, a crooked back, and only fucking reruns of the drew carey version of... well... anything.

We're Almost Back to 3/5ths!

Huge progress today:

The bill had strong support from both conservative Republicans and liberal Democrats. While the current law punishes crack users 100 times more heavily than powder cocaine users, the new Senate bill brings the 100-to-1 ratio down to 18-to-1.

Soon it will be cut down to 5-to-3 just like the founding fathers would've wanted.

Ten bucks says that the rightwingtopia starts calling the dems soft on crime for this. Ten bucks times a fucking million.

UPDATE:
Oh, and I'd like to take a moment to remind all of the haters out there; you go to war with the brown people that you have a flimsy excuse to blow up, not the brown people you'd really like to blow up.

We're Frozen in Carbonite for a Few Weeks

and suddenly everyone has delusions of grandeur....

HIGHLIGHT: "So Hacksaw Megan McDuggan gets an email....."

YES

Proximity to what?

NO BAD WORDS WILL BE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS EVER.

It Makes No Sense

Seriously. I don't fucking get it. The world makes no fucking sense. A rational person would expect things to be a certain way and yet they are not. I can't take this any fucking more.

How the fuck are Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs so much better than Reese's Peanut Butter Cups?

IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!!!!!!

Outsourcing

Saldy, No! has a funny little take down on our dear friend.

Nothing to ad, other than to say that the commenters on this piece are amusingly deranged, as always. My favorite it somewhere towards the end where one of them attacks a liberal commenter for distorting Megan's point.

My creative output for the year has been met cause I recently came up with the metaphor "She blinked at him stupidly like a DSL modem" which should be easy to work into a post about MM but, hey, this is more effort than I really wanted to do already so go away.

This Site Has Moved

Hmm, turns out all along this blog shoulda just been named "unsubscribe from Megan McArdle." It's the same effect and it's something we can actually accomplish!

Yeah! We win!

Everyone Loves Bacon

Even the English:

Fuck You, Susan

Seriously, Susan, here I was, happily minding my own business and your damn post pops up on my google reader and I end up clicking through to a link to McArdle. What the fuck were you thinking? What the fuck was I thinking? What the fuck was Megan... oh wait, no.. that doesn't work.

Anyway, so Megan's latest "thought" is about stupid student protestors. They are stupid, it's true. Apparently some of the ones in Berkeley had "Impeach Obama" signs or some shit. I dunno. Stupid happens. I'm trying to just stand in the middle of the vortex and let the morons swirl around me these days. That's why I'm so pissed at Susan for shoving stupid in my eye.

Oh, right, McArdle and the post and blah blah here's a quote:

As someone who was known to attend a protest or two herself during college, I have been struggling mightily to find some sensible arguments in the movement of students protesting budget cuts at their campuses.

I love how Megan always mentions her college protesting days. It serves two purposes. One is the ever important "I used to be a liberal" street cred and another is to condescend in a sort of "yeah, I used to wear diapers but then I learned to shit in the toilet" kind of way.

Anyway, she makes a decent point about protesters sort of ignoring reality. I could be contrarian and make some point about how maybe they're not protesting a lack of revenue as much as a misallocation of resources or, in California's sake, legislative obstinance that has preempted any kind of fiscal relief. I'm not sure that I'm willing to give the student's that much credit though, so we'll agree to disagree.

At any rate, this sort of anger in the face of reality which Megan so blithely mocks is familiar to our lass. She is a libertarian. I'm curious, though, as to why she hasn't said more about the tea parties. Aren't they the opposite side of the same coin? No? Something about incoherent protests, maybe? Have 2x4 jokes gone out of style? OK, nevermind. Sorry to bother you Megan.

Oh, and I'd maybe try and find some links where Megan talks about the tea parties but the Teh Atlantik site revamp has made searching even more annoying than it was before over there (which is fucking amazing! Monster incompetence!), so fuck that, too.

Crap, I coulda sworn there was a funny in there somewhere. It hasn't come to me. Pfft. Whatever. If you want something funny, try this and then this. Or maybe click those links in opposite order. I'm not sure which is funnier. Also, there's this hilarious thing they do on the internet now where they take a picture of a cat and then put a caption on it like it's talking. It's pretty hilarious. Check it out.

PS One of the websites I go to look at naked ladies now has banner ads for explicit animated Na'vi (sp?) porn. That didn't take long.

Idaho Potato Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of!

Say Idaho potato one more time motherfucker. I DARE YOU.

But What About the Earth's Proton Torpedoes?

Why is there so much hackdom around.

Discovery News, at it's most scientific:

EARTH RAISED MAGNETIC SHIELD EARLIER THAN THOUGHT

Heckuva headline there, Discovery. But questions remain unanswered. Were the shields at full power? Had the Earth "given it all she's got" by then? I guess I'll have to enroll in some adult education classes to find out the answers to that science. Hope The Academy is still taking applications.

Interconnected Tubes

There's prolly stupid shit going on in Megan Land but I'll be fucked if I'm going over there. Things that don't pop on my google reader tend not to pop up on my radar, and, I like it when all's clear on the western front.

So, obviously that means that this is a random link post. Yeah! But it's not! I'm sick of the damn internet. All it does it point to its damn self. Instead of perpetuating this giant interwoven masturbation, I'm going to tell you something cool that I learned recently IN REAL LIFE. Well, actually, I may have been talking to my brother over the internet but that doesn't count so fuck you.

The female equivalent to "cock blocking" is "clam stomping."

Yer welcome.

Holy Fucking Fuck

Mickey Kaus is considering running in the Dem primary against Barbara Boxer.
I.... hope he does. And that blowing goats isn't a crime or sufficiently severe crime to disqualify him from office.
Please run, Mickey, we need you.
And Ann Althouse, the un-me, really, what the fuck is wrong with you to let him think of this first? There's attention out there you're not seeking, Ann. At least not yet....

And we know you don't have the courage to run, Megan, so whatever.

I Wanna Be Japanese

OK, so sometimes, I think Japanese culture is scary and disturbing, like Ranma 1/2. Other times I think it's hilarious and awesome, like Ranma 1/2.

Anyway, this is one of those good times:

Seriously, WTF? Why can't I get antijihadist bunnies with the coolest weapon switch ever? Is it cause my BMI is over 25? Seriously, it's only like 26.5. Can't we make an exception? I will promise to recycle.