Tee Vee Eye on Me(gan)

Here, Ms. McArdle finds herself inspired by Ta-Nehisi Coates, who wasn't typing about anything funny, but the humor kicks in immediately at Asymmetrical Info:

Being that I have recently purchased a car, lost half my retirement savings, and rented a house, I feel poor right now.  And yet, like the rest of America, I am feeling the powerful lure of the ridiculous sales our nation's merchants are putting on. 

"Oh, I feel a bit faint...&...&...what is this feeling? Poverty? I'm pooooor? Oooooh..." Fortunately, it's all feelings, it will pass & the unsinkable Megatron will survive to retire.

Perhaps w/ yet another television set, which seems to be the entirety of the consumer desires manipulated w/in her & T. C. by the merchant classes.

Between the two of us, we already have five televisions (including one that, bizarrely, comes with the house, being affixed to the bathroom ceiling.  No, I'm not kidding.)  But they're SOOOOOOOOOOOOO cheap!!!

I'd feel poor too, w/ a mere five sets. Now, please stand aside, here's the "econoblogging."

The problem with this is that utility is a relative, not an absolute.   The market price is (sort of) an average of the item's utility, not a measure of its utility to you.  For us, the utility of another flat screen television is almost certainly less than almost anything else we'd spend the $400 on.  We didn't get the television.  But I still feel kind of like I'm missing out.

But you can't base an economy on this feeling (though Lord knows, we've tried!)  I'm sure all the bargains and loss leaders are generating some consumer spending.  But I'm still willing to bet that most retailers will report horrific margins and a terrible year for profits.

You can't base an economy on this feeling? It worked so well for so long on so many consumerist sheep, Megan. Like the one in your mirror. You can still barely keep your wallet in your pants, "feeling poor" or not. 

And while I, a partially home-schooled, multi-college drop-out & auto-didact have managed never to take an economics class, or read anything on the subject deeper than a book review, I'm still willing to bet that what Ms. McA. typed above is about as simple as it gets. We thank The Atlantic for keeping it on our level.

HAHAHAAHAHAHAH

Oh man, Ta-Nehisi's addition to The Atlantic crew has been a gift from fucking God man. For once, it took me a few posts worth of scanning to find something funny, but sure enough, there it was, the sparkling little turd of stupid glistening from the bottom of the toilet bowl that is his writing, begging me to reach down and pluck it.

Wait, that's a really disgusting metaphor. Never mind.

Ok, so what'd he say? Well, he said this:

I thought about that while reading over Conor Friedersdorf [sic] nuanced take on white people who play gangsta rap at their weddings.

You guys remember our friend, Conor, don't you? He was one of Megan's "Guest Bloggers" some time ago while she was taking a much needed break from pulling shit out of her ass and not writing very many articles for the magazine at which she supposedly works.

No only does Mr. Coates regularly read this 15 year old spaz on cocaine. but he actually called one of his articles "nuanced."

Yes, Ta-Nehisi, only a terrible "nuanced" person would understand that songs about sweat dripping off your balls are kind of awkward at a wedding. Thanks for tuning us in to this wonderful young mind.

Lemme in on that Censorship!

Boo-ya Nehisi! You're off the heezy on this one:

You guys know I agree with about .0005 percent of what Fred says. Having said that, he's somehow managed to drive some weak-minded, 22-year old insane with such rage that they've taken to impersonating him. This person thinks very very little of Fred. And yet, in a comic twist, seems unaware that however weak-minded he takes Fred to be, the fact that Fred now has seemingly opened a condo in this person's head, shows the imposter to be weaker still. Is that irony? I think so, but I get confused so often.

Anyway, I'm usually above insulting people over the internet, but this guy is going to Herculean lengths to troll. I leave it to you to dream of what his real life--not to mention social life--must be like. Anyway, do yourself a favor and don't respond to posts that look especially outrageous. I know the real Fred is so off the wall that it's hard to distinguish. Just give it a second before you respond, please. I'll be in, within an hour or so, to erase the scribblings of this unfortunate soul. I wish I could get him the help he clearly needs--for now, the "delete post" button will have to do.

Dude is so open minded, he'll even stereotype the trolls that agree with him! He's attacking a troll of a troll. Ahhh, The Atlantic, where you'll drown in the vastness of our trite, self-righteous and boring commentary.

Seriously, do they think they're going to win the war on people being an ass on the internet? Don't they realize that's like winning the war on terror?

And how come the black dude doesn't get an intern to thought police his comments? (or is Ta-Nehisi a girl's name???) I think The Atlantic is practicing discriminatory practices.

Fun fact about Mr/Mrs Coates: I never read anything but the most recent post of his/her blog when I have enough time to get to the bottom of my blog reading list, and like 30% of the time that one post contains something stupid enough for me to mock!

Recipe for Hypocrisy

First, gather a link to Ta-Nehisi in a small blog post:

"The man from everywhere, which means nowhere," is barely functional English. Seriously I would flunk a high school freshman for writing that.

Sprinkle generously with "sic"s. Garnish with "wtf is 'functional' English" to taste. Serves the entire idiot blogosphere.

There's the Insight for which I've Been Looking!

Oh, Ta-Nehisi, I'm so glad you came to The Atlantic so that you could provide the stunning challenges to my way of thinking that had been previously lacking:

I have this deep-seated suspicion that the things we think decide elections--ads, gaffes, rallies, counter-punches--aren't as important as we make them. I mean they are important, but often I suspect that they're just distracting us from much deeper, uncontrollable--and in some ways unknowable--questions. How's the war going? How will the economy be doing in November? What do the voter reg numbers look like? How many of those are likely to turn out?

MORE IMPORTANT THAN GAFFES??!@??!! WHY DO THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO BLOW MY MIND!

I ask them SOOOO nicely not to do it, and then just -boom!- they blow it to smithereens. Can we please get back to something more comfortable?

What's going on at the local level with this thing? What's happening--right now--in the voting precints of Ohio and North Carolina? Stop telling me how much money Obama is pouring into those states--I want to know what that money does, how is it being put to work. Less top-down coverage, more bottom up.

Phew, yes, let's get some stories about what we really KNOW is important, like whether the money is going to pay staffers to canvas or to fund the creation of more buttons and signs in the Cincinnati suburbs. THAT'S the kind of campaign coverage that would be TRULY useful for us to have so that we might properly decide our next president.

Is there a single IQ point in the entirety of the blogosphere? I guess with a name as stupid as "blogosphere" it just has to be dumb.