A HIT!

OMG! Looks what she's done!

A Side Note About Exotic Salt

When I said I "cook with" Maldon sea salt, I did not mean that I toss it in the water with my pasta, or use it to brine my turkey. Sea salt is a finisher--you put a little of it in when you're done cooking and ready to serve, or toss it in cold dishes. If your recipe calls for salt at the start of the process--though with a few exceptions, I'm agin' it--use kosher or ordinary table salt. A box of sea salt should last you at least six months, unless you're serving a crowd every night. Some of my correspondents were a tad confused on this, so I thought it was worth clarifying before some unhappy soul tossed three tablespoons of fleur de sel into their pasta water, and came looking for my head.

Sure, Megan. You wrote this to help your commentors and not because you looked like an idiot.

I wish it were somehow provable, because I would bet any money you want that she was using it directly in her cooking until this post got her a ton of emails explaining that she didn't know shit. Why else would she write this:

If you use expensive salts for flavoring your cooking (or putting on top of your food), a wooden salt keeper can keep them from getting too humid and clumping together.

She can't admit she's wrong about ANYTHING.

Unlikely Events

Huh. This.

Let's guess that Megan doesn't point out the bullshit behind that media frenzy like she did with the census worker.

(via.)

Yeah! Goy Present Giver Came Early!

IMPORTANT Update : Realizing this post is a bit long for our less intrepid readers, you may skip it on the condition that you search for the word "salt" and read those parts. Trust me on this one.

Ha! You goyum are so cute, what with your consumerism and your present giving and your libertarians. (I refuse to acknowledge that there are any Jewish libertarians.)

Megan has posted her Holiday Gift Guide: Kitchen Edition and I'm giddy as something that's giddy in a place that makes it particularly giddy! Let's see what fine items Megan McArdle uses would make a great gift! Note: As has oft been noted, Megan takes a cut out of anything you purchase through her links. She mentioned that last year, though, so no need this year. It's not part of the tradition. Who's heard of conflict of interest?

She starts with "Stocking Stuffers: Under $25" and almost none of them make any sense as a gift. They are comprised entirely of little gadgets of which Megan is fond and not at all of things that you might buy someone. See, if you know someone well enough to know what small trinket their kitchen lacks but they desperately desire, you prolly know them well enough to cross that 25 dollar threshold. Also, no one who wants a microplane grater hasn't bought one themselves already. They are not new Megan. What are you going to advise us on next? Not getting our internet through AOL?

Next we have a "cheese slicer" and then "Kyocera ceramic slicer" which can both be replaced by "knife" but, whatever, we all know how hard it is to cut cheese by hand. So much more convenient to throw another waste of space in our completely uncluttered drawers.

Then there's the Oxo chopper for people who somehow haven't heard of the slap chop or knives. Don't buy a slap chop, though. That has infomercials and is inferior. Buy Oxo chopper as it has both the advantage of being made by a respectable company AND being available through Megan's Amazon link.

And we're not done with Oxo. Not by a long shot. For what stocking would be properly stuff without "Oxo tongs." What are "Oxo tongs?" you may ask. Well, they are tongs that have the wonderful feature of being made by Oxo. No kitchen would be complete without them. Of course, no kitchen would be without them unless all you make is Ramen. This paragraph, like so many others, is best concluded with "whatevs."

Up next, a "Salt Keeper." This whole section is far and away my favorite:

Exotic salts are the new Green Peppercorns and White Truffle Oil, and in my opinion, considerably more interesting. If you use expensive salts for flavoring your cooking (or putting on top of your food), a wooden salt keeper can keep them from getting too humid and clumping together. Right now I'm using Maldon sea salt for most things, and pink Himalayan salt for dishes that demand a lighter flavor.

I love how she openly states fancy salt is a stupid trend and then goes on to opine about the subtle differences between Maldon and Himalayan salt. Didn't Megan say that she was "cutting back?" Well, I know when I'm cutting back the last thing I cut back on is the essentials, like paying extra for gourmet SALT.

Then there's the potato peeler:

My sister bought me this last Christmas as a sort-of-joke, sort-of-gift,

That sort of makes sense and... oh, no, it entirely doesn't make sense. Unless we're talking about a big floppy dildo that ends up getting actual use, a gift is either a joke or practical.

The best advice I've ever heard, though, is re: silicone oven mitts. "You can stick your hands into boiling water wearing these, as long as the water doesn't come up over the opening of the glove." Yea, what could possibly go wrong? I mean, it's not like if any water gets in it will be trapped next to your skin making any potential burns far worse. Plus, this is coming from a women who earlier admits to not being able to grate cheese without scraping her knuckles.

Our next category is "Thoughtful Presents: $25 to $50." Number two in your heart attack? A FUCKING KNIFE BLOCK. Seriously. A place to put your knives. Who owns a kitchen and owns knives but doesn't own a place to put their knives? BRILLIANT.

But let's not forget the "Rabbit Corkscrew" which, really, disturbingly, makes me think of another rabbit entirely. Because what we all need is "the easiest corkscrew you've ever used." No more killing the mood by fumbling around with those tricky corkscrews. In her defense, "This is particularly great for older wine drinkers, or anyone who has trouble with their hands, because it requires so little strength." It's that special gift for gramma that says "I know you're an alcoholic, but you're almost dead anyway so what does it matter?"

Then there's the always favorite "Oxo Kitchen Scale." Though she admits trying to get us to use it is futile, she's going to buy it for a gift for us anyway because her gift to us is to make us do all the stupid pointless shit that she does. You're welcome. I would just like to point out that the whole IDEA of a kitchen scale is bullshit. Cooking is NOT that precise. If it were, everything wouldn't happen to come out to nice round numbers. A precise recipe would use 2.4364 cups of flower and 1.67352 eggs. It's kind of absurd the notion you have to weigh exactly the right amount of flower to match the number of highly variable eggs you have, but that's never stopped her before so, whatevs. Even if the volume of flour changes with humidity (which I doubt is significant, but maybe) so would the weight.

Next, we have "Generous Gifts: $50 to $150." What should we purchase for our loved ones, Megan? Oh, a 60 dollar block of wood? GREAT IDEA! That block of wood will be so much better than the 5 dollar one at Target. My spouse will think I'm so thoughtful!

Or how about a hand mixer! I think Megan sums it up best when she says:

I don't use mine much any more--I tend to outsource its labors to either my stand mixer, or my immersion blender. But I travel with it, and for someone who doesn't have a really high-quality stand mixer, this is invaluable.

What cook doesn't want something almost entirely useless? AND HOLY SHIT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE BRINGS HER HAND MIXER AROUND TO COMPENSATE FOR HER HOST'S INADEQUATE MIXERS! Does she travel with an emergency store of her fancy salt?

Skipping ahead to the "Extravagant Gestures: $150 and up" because, hey, when I think of $150 dollar expenditures, I think of something subtle like a "gestures." I also just can't get over the idea that Megan thinks there are people with whom we are close enough to spend over $150 on, but need HER help choosing a gift for.

KitchenAid Mixer Yup, every year, I start with the same thing. If you want to be a serious baker, you need a serious mixer.

Which is why you should buy one, because a serious baker almost never has the one thing they need to be a serious baker.

But what better way to spend $162 than on a "counter-top oven." A toaster oven? NOOO! Unlike a toaster oven it "makes good toast, which is not, in my experience, generally true of toaster ovens." Yeah! My toaster oven always turns my toast into chimneys. It's pretty impressive the first time but after you have, like, 6 new chimneys in your house you start to just want some toast. Also, don't forget that "the brick lining makes beautiful bread" and that's total worth the $162.

And speaking of useless wastes of money, she also advises you purchase a $200 cast iron pot (this one comes with enamel!) and a SEVEN hundred dollar copper pot.

I would just like to pause a moment here and remind everyone that Megan, up above, openly stated that her SALT consumption follows the latest trend. Yes, Megan has such a herd mentality she must use the newest black, even if the newest black is SALT from the other side of the world. SALT. Fucking SALT.

Oh, but back to the pot, Megan doesn't ACTUALLY want you to spend 700 bucks on a pot. "The link is just to show you the kind of thing you're looking for" because some of her readers are in fact stupid enough to fail to comprehend the meaning of "copper pot" without an illustration. That could be anything!

What holiday gift guide would be complete without Megan telling you what NOT to buy? Megan doesn't like these things, so your loved ones won't either. For example, while the slap chop is brilliant, do not get the "multichopper" which performs the exact same function. Why? Well "Unfortunately, changing the top plate, which pushes the food through the slicing blade, requires so much hand strength that I have to call Peter to do it for me." If it's too hard for the world's most incompetent person, it's prolly too hard for you.

Electric steamers are also a no-no, because Megan doesn't steam vegetables often so neither do you. This is in contrast to electric tea kettles, which are invaluable because Megan drinks a lot of tea and so do you.

But no list of things not to buy would be complete without things on it that Megan doesn't know how to use. For example, knife sharpeners. As we all know, dragging a knife down a holding steel is IMPOSSIBLE which is why so many honing steels exist. A true champion will settle for nothing less than taking their blades to a professional sharpener once a year. No... no... not more than once a year. We're professionals, guys!

Then she closes with

Specialty microwave dishes. In some cases, the concept is good. The problem is, it's always executed in plastic. Microwaving in plastic may not be such a good idea-pthalates really don't seem to be all that good for you, and I'm not exactly an environmental alarmist. We only microwave in glass these days.

Because Megan is smart enough to know that pthalates are bad but isn't smart enough to know that avoiding them is impossible (they are in deodorant and make up), that many plastics don't have pthalates in them (they are only needed as plasticizers for plastics that are otherwise unworkable), and that their main danger seems to be to children and fetuses (they interfere with various hormones important to early sexual development). What's a lot of knowledge when a little goes such a long way to making you an expert in everything?

And remember, guys, peer pressure determines her SALT consumption. SALT

SAALLLLLLLLLLLTTTTTTTTTTT!

Now It's Xmas!

As promised, the "kitchen edition" of Ms. McArdle's annual gift guide is available. Our commentariat, in breathless anticipation, indicates she does an electronic gadgets edition as well. I can't remember (selective amnesia) but the commentariat — Season's Greetings to All! while I'm on about the holidays — can usually be trusted.

I cannot recall another general interest/socio-econ-poli/Media Village web log that comes up w/ a gift guide every yr. (though I'm sure examples will be found) so I'll just question the whole enterprise, w/o passing any judgement on the recommended kitchen equipment, that sort of thing being far out of my area of expertise. If any one in the truly vast wasteland of cyberspace has anything to type on her choices, please pitch in. We welcome your comments!

And if I can trouble myself to read more, I may have more later. The idea of what not to buy ("Bad Ideas") is intriguing. Nobody knows the trouble Megan's seen, but they're about to find out.

Getting in that Holiday Spirit

Apologies for the Light Posting

the annual gift guide will be up this weekend,

So I was all like "goy present bringer, I know I'm a jew and all, but can you make Megan do more ridiculously stupid posts that don't also enrage me to murderous impulses?" Goy present bringer is awesome.

This Blog Post Is False

Shorter Megan McArdle:

Employment Data: Cautiously Optimistic:
I am going to alloy this unalloyed good news but it has nothing to do with the fact that a Democrat is president now. No, there is no relation to my calling growth under Bush "record growth (in the comments)" without equivocation.

Hey, remember when she was sure she had seen that recession around here somewhere? Funny how she was OVERLY optimistic, then.

The Perils of Warped Fucking Priorities

I have to admit that it baffles me how much of the health care debate seems to be focused on cost. The notion that this program is the one that will break the bank when we have so many other programs that costs so much more -- providing everything from end of life financial security to blowing people the fuck up -- is fucking absurd. The notion that we, the richest country in the world, can't provide for our citizen's health needs because of monetary reasons when other, poorer countries can flies in the face of anything approaching logic. So, you'll have to forgive me when I claim that Megan's latest post, "The Perils of Health Care Cost Control" is full of shit starting with the fucking title. Yes, health care costs are increasing. This is because people want more and more health. That's not a fucking peril. That's just fucking it. Sure, it'd be sweet if health care were free and came with a pony, but clearly people are willing to pay for it if it doesn't rain down from the heaven's instead.

So, yeah, stupid from the get-go. Let's see what other stupid we can dig up in the actual body of the fucking post:

For months now, the libertarians have been saying that the government does not have the political will to actually control health care osts. And people who support the proposed reforms have been telling us that we're blind ideologues who simply cannot allow ourselves to believe that the government can do anything right. Well, Exhibit A.

Exhibit A -- she's too coy to tell us -- is that the Senate added an amendment requiring insurances companies to cover mammograms. Now, of course, this is HORRIBLE NEWS because doctors just changed their mind about when mammograms should be given. Now the damn government is spitting in the faces of hard science by demanding women get mammograms even if they're four years old requiring insurance companies to pay for any mammograms that the doctors prescribe. I know that as soon as I heard the words "free mammogram" I was like "FUCK DOCTOR'S ADVICE! I'M STICKING MY TITS IN A VICE!" and I don't even HAVE tits.

Anyway, she blahs and makes up some shits and acts all knowledgeable and makey-uppy like she always does and then drops this brilliant bombshell:

The biggest savings comes from doing fewer knee reconstructions, fewer open heart surgeries, fewer screening tests.

Well, yeah, if you're not talking about saving people's lives, or quality of life or FUCK YOU STUPID CUNT. Do you really expect us to fucking be like "oh, well, I guess reconstructing a destroyed knee isn't OK cuz, gosh darnit, its costs too dang much." Yes it costs money. SO FUCKING WHAT?

The problem is, any line you draw will be somewhat arbitrary--how do you weigh false positives who will suffer somewhat, against false negatives who are very likely to die?

Huh, you say the problem is "any line you draw will be somewhat aribtrary" I say "you don't fucking understand statistics, evidence based medicine or cost-benefit analysis. Tomato-retardo.

The problem with diseases that affect a large number of people is that then huge numbers of voters can imagine themselves dying for want of some procedure, and the political cost to denying it is huge.

BINGO DIPSHIT. That's why right now we're having a health care debate and not a health deny debate.

Anyway, here's the part where I tie this all together. Oh, wait, my soul died early on this one so fuck you all.

Sorry, I'm lashing out, again. Megan dredges up more hate than I can handle.

Oh, yeah, and she complains about the Senate making health care decisions and uses that as an explanation for why an IMAC (Independent Medicare Advisory Council) won't work. That makes sense. Politicians have to worry too much about gotcha bullshit, so even people who aren't politicians can't make informed decisions.

Deeply, Deeply Silly

When I wasn't looking, Megan became someone's (possibly maiden) aunt. (Or Andrew "High Dudgeon" Sullivan.) "'Tsk tsk,' tutted maiden Aunt Megan, 'have you children no shame? And can you not keep a civil tongue in your head?'"

The Role of Clemency

Hear, hear.  As far as I can tell, this was a reasonable clemency decision, and anyone making a political issue out of it should be deeply, deeply ashamed.

The "Holy Crap, is there no shame or stigma for these leeches?" reaction to The NYT item on people actually using Food Stamps did not get a work-out at Asymmetrical Information, so this may have been her chance.

But come on. It's politics. What do we expect? Other potential GOP candidates have seen who's ahead in the three-yrs.-&-counting polls, & they're not letting anything go by. They never do.

In this particular case, I can even agree w/ Ms. McA. Gov. Huck granted a commutation of a life sentence, which only made the cop-killer eligible for parole. Plenty of others deserve a finger pointed at them. But this is hardly the first commutation or parole board pressure situation where Huckabee's involvement has come back to bite him on his substantial behind. W/o the already widely known Wayne DuMond case, this wouldn't have generated nearly the "shameful" heat it has.

And Megan, if you're indeed working toward a more civil discourse, & shame, speak to some of your regular commenters. Comparing the pre- & post-registration output in the comments would be an interesting study.

Truly Easy

Shorter Megan McArdle:

TBogg Endorses Truthiness

I don't know what either "truthiness" or "concern troll" means.

Just When I Thought I Was Out...

We've been getting complaints about our lack of postings directed along the prevailing winds of this blog's stated purpose. It's true. We've been lazy. Frankly, can you blame us? I mean, Megan's random careening of a blog career is hardly affected by our ineffectual plinking, and how much fun is it to hear us exhaust our supply of "yer dum" jokes on the same person over and over?

Oh, really? You like that sort of thing? Well, alright then. Here, I'll do a nice short easy one then just to make you happy.

Random Thought:

I would find Malcolm Gladwell's responses to Steve Pinker so much more compelling if they didn't rely so heavily on sly, and irrelevant, accusations of racism.

Huh. That's pretty funny. She's ad homineming someone for ad homineming. Good joke there. I'll have to make sure to note the potential humor opportunity. But, first, better do my due diligence and read the link.

Oh, turns out it's a blog post following up on something else. I guess I'd better read that. Wouldn't wanna start in the middle, ya know?

Hey, wait, this is a letter to the editor in response to a New York Times book review. Fuck, well, I guess I'll start at the book review, then. Man, this short post is getting tedious.

OK, read 'em all. What have we got? Well, Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book. Steve Pinker said the book had some good parts and some bad parts and mentioned that Gladwell's claim that IQ is irrelevant doesn't seem to be supported. Gladwell writes to the NYT stating this view is an "ice-flow." Pinker replies with various studies and letters from scientists that say this is a mainstream view. Gladwell then points out that some of these studies aren't so cut and dry and, in fact, present a nuanced view of IQ. He also points out that other sources are openly racist and push IQ inheritablility/racial inferiority agendas. Megan cries "fowl!"

Fuck, that took a while. And this post is getting long. Better go trim it down. That's gonna take a while, too. OK, so what's the pith, here? Well, Megan did a few stupid things. Lemme find my notes. I know I already wrote one of those down... AH YES! Here it is! She used an ad hominem attack to refute an argument for being ad hominem. Oh, man, irony IS a classic.

What else? Oh, yeah, she wrote a single sentence about multiple articles and responses which haven't really been widely discussed. That's pretty funny. I mean, it's quite narcissistic to think everyone would just know what you're talking about in that situation. Yeah, narcissism jokes go over well. I'll stick one of those in.

Am I missing anything? Oh, RIGHT! I forgot that Gladwell didn't really make any "sly accusations of racism" so much as pointed out that one of Pinker's sources was OPENLY RACIST and therefor might be tainted by an agenda. That's pretty important. Rather glaring error on her part. Kind of defeats the whole purpose of her post, really. Oh, we can make a self-defeating joke. Another classic.

Hey, wait, she used the word "irrelevant," too, which is also wrong because, hey, those "sly accusations" only kind of undermine entirely the credibility of one of Pinker's sources. That's fairly relevant. That's definitely gotta go in.

OK, so, she contradicts herself, acts narcissistic, and fails to understand the arguments of the people she's "criticizing" (TWICE in the span of TWO WORDS). Shit, I forgot, I have to explain this whole fucking mess because most likely no one has read the book review, or the response to the book review, or the response to the response to the book review. Yeah, so, I gotta do all that. In a short post.

Oh, hey, look at that. 5pm already. Fuck it. Good enough. I'll just punch out. Wife's gonna kill me if I log in any more overtime.

Update: Heh. I tried to be as thorough as possible here in order to illustrate my point and I STILL forgot to mention explicitly in my round up at the end that she fails to link to two of the three things she is discussing. Indeed.

Her stupidity; It takes a genius to keep track of it all.