Thursday, February 18, 2010

All the Facts in This Blog Post Are True

Wooo, boy, am I feeling a bit sheepish. Better crack out a post that isn't verifiably stupid so that I can continue to rule my little part of the intertubes. What's this? A post stupid regardless of facts? I'll take it!

Megan is fond of playing the centrist. She voted for Obama! Yet she chides her liberal opponents so much more oft than her conservative opponents cohorts well, whatever they ares.

Take for example, her most recent call to civility. Oh, how those liberals do ignore her well thought out arguments and immediately start with the rending and gnashing and expressioning. Then compare it to her take downs of Rush or Beck, which occasionally might start out strong, but always end up with a walk back "I don't HATE Rush." (Links not inserted to protect the lazy.)

One is left to wonder; who does she love? Well, she finally shows us with her full length quote of RobM1981, who intelligently still uses an AOL screen name from 1998 as his blogging handle:

We have experimental data here: the Smart Car.
Here was a car that was large enough for two people, or one person and a fair amount of groceries. It was driveable, if just, at highway speeds.
And it got relatively horrible mileage because physics is physics.
The Honda Fit seats four and has room - even with 4 people in it - for some decent cargo. Yet it gets much better mileage than the Smart, and is generally considered more fun to drive. Why?
Because it's large enough to have crumple zones. The human cargo is surrounded by some degree of space, and that space can be used to dissipate energy in a collision.
A Smart Car is built like a tank, because it has to be. It is essentially a roll cage on wheels. Even with the best air bag technologies available, merc had to build this thing with a relatively large amount of steel.
That means weight.
You can have a light one seat car that gets crazy-good gas mileage, or you can have a heavy one seat car that gets mediocre (for it's size) gas mileage.
But you can't have both. And given our regulations, you really aren't allowed to sell the first one.
Motorcycles would never, EVER be approved by NHTSA if they were invented today.
At some point all of the fun things will be illegal, and we can all go on to live dreary Orwellian lives, free of fear...
Yes, this is the man to whom we should all aspire. A man who thinks an anecdote is "experimental data." A man who writes several paragraphs in a row with only one or two sentences in each and yet still manages to be verbose. A man who thinks that safety laws ruin all the fun; like driving in a car without a seatbelt or having your small child locked in a refrigerator that doesn't open from the inside or having said child eat lead paint or any of the other myriad safety regulations that industry swore would bankrupt them.

A man who thinks the lessons of Orwell are about crumple zones....

So today is RobM1981 (aka sparklesexyboy69) Day. Let us all be RobM1981 for a day. Let us ride motorcycles without helmets and drive cars without antilock brakes. We shall hike in forests blissfully free of birds thanks to DDT and swim next to the orange glow of the Cuyahoga river. We shall cry "God bless the perfect, self-regulating industry!" and everyone shall say a little prayer for it as they fly through their safety-glassless windshield, and land with a thudding "Amen" on the pavement, smiling ear to ear.

7 comments:

Bill Rutherford, Princeton Admissions said...

As idiotic as libertarians (and RobM1969) are, this was a bit over the top, don't you think.

Morbo said...

If it was just nutpicking I would agree that this post is overkill. Megan, however, chose to give RobM's quote its own post. Thus his idiocy becomes her own.

NutellaonToast said...

Either way, it's not like over the top is something I strive to avoid. I've no desire to be taken seriously.

Bill Rutherford, Princeton Admissions said...

Fair enough.

Dillon said...

Minus ten points to RobM for not mentioning the bestest small car of all, the new Mini.

Minis are very fuel efficient, particularly when you snap off the side mirrors to reduce wind resistance and don't stop at red lights.

NutellaonToast said...

I love you, Dillon

Anonymous said...

She voted for Obama!

Or would have if she hadn't too pathetically god-damned lazy to bother register to vote. Can't forget that. Jeezus is Megan useless.