Saturday, July 4, 2009

Obligatory Nuptials Post

First off, please, please, please, for the love of the FSM, don't reproduce, you two. Kids get greasy fingerprints all over Kindles, and the odds are no matter how you warp them they'd end up rebelling and growing a soul on their own.

Second, will Peter be taking Megan's last name? It is the McArdle household, after all.

I know, I said we won't get personal here, but this is simply unavoidable. FFS, read this;

Peter and I are getting married. At some point. The date to be determined by the vicissitudes of the wedding-industrial complex. Right now we have a ring, a fond hope not to spend the price of a luxury car on a six hour party, and a sort of dazed and happy look.
I know Susan has already chimed on this, but she could spend a week unpacking everything in that short section. An ambiguous engagement, mention of conspicuous consumption, and preemptive victimization for the costs involved in having a showy, self-involved wedding. Just because Megan is an agnotheist doesn't mean they don't need a massive name brand church to make sure to maximize the networking potential of the occasion. Good thing Peter is back on wingnut welfare.

Oh, and did Megan mention her ring?

I'm feeling nostalgic for bland recipes already....

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Basic Fact July 4, 2009 8:20 PM

we can only hope your children have Peter's looks and....um....Uncle Milty's brains?

Are the Koch foundation paying for the wedding? Might as well, since they own your husband.

Steve and Evie Levy said...

Nuptials, Susan. You're confusing it with "victuals." Ie, ugh.

Steve and Evie Levy said...

And by "Susan" I mean, Brad. As always.

brad said...

Eeek.
Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Why must she always come off as such a self-absorbed twat? I don't know how she does it. Ordinarily I'm happy to hear people say they're getting married. Is it her choice of words? The clumsiness of her sentence structure? How does she do it?

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