Sunday, January 11, 2009

Even When She's Smart, She's Dumb

Over at McArdle's house, we see she's finally managed to get her car into legal status. It's been in her possession since August, but - naturally - (ed. where do the spaces go when you insert a hyphen? Is that right? It never looks right, but neither does leaving any out.) it's not her fault.

Since this is an article about her, and she gets to complain about the government, it goes on for quite a while. Three pages and 28 bullet points of stupidity. Some of the more amusing bits in her chronology are things like "16. Thanksgiving" and "21. Christmas" because we all know how important the arrival of holidays are to the story of Megan performing a quotidian task like registering her car.

Surprisingly, she never comments on her own stupidity for doing things like buying a replacement mirror too small to cover her current one or insisting on going to a Mini dealership rather than a regular mechanic. Why would you buy a car whose closest dealership is hours away if you're going to moronically insist on getting even minor repairs done there?? Ah, the workings of the McArdle mind, so complicated and yet so nonsensical. Figuring her out is like finishing a crossword puzzle made by someone who doesn't know that "yndxly" isn't a word.

The previous post is a bit of masturbation about how great a book reader she is. Apparently now that Rove is making the ridiculous claim that Bush is an avid reader, it's vogue to be learned again. She claims that 600 wpm is "above average" but "not particularly impressive" which doesn't make sense, since that's two or three times the average. Is this some sort of faux-modesty or is she too stupid to even identify what few skills she actually has? The woman claims to have read four books in the first week and a half of the year and then whines about how she isn't keeping up her resolution to be a better reader this year!!! Why the hell would you even bother with such an outdated metric when so much reading is done on the internet? I mean, it's not like you HAVE to read only porn on the tubes, even if that's what everyone else does.

Man, she's dumb


Anonymous said...

"Figuring her out is like finishing a crossword puzzle made by someone who doesn't know that "yndxly" isn't a word."

Brilliant. Captures it perfectly.

spencer said...

I usually use an em dash in place of a hyphen in those situations. No spaces.

NutellaonToast said...

what's em dash?

Anonymous said...

From the exhausting car post, because if there's one thing I want to read in the Atlantic Monthly, it's the perils of a spoiled yuppie trying to get her Mini-Cooper on the road: "Car accidentally driven through red light in Logan Circle."

How do you "accidentally" drive through a red light? There are only two ways to do this: ignore the traffic laws and deliberately drive through it or drive while distracted and not pay attention to the road. In either case, you're an asshole.

Anonymous said...

I'm w/ spencer. An em dash is two dashes--like this--with no spaces on either side. How Blogger or etc. display them is anyone's guess.

Anonymous said...

I suppose driving your car accidentally through a red light is better than doing it on purpose.

Ken Houghton said...

The result is the same to the mother who then hits you for that moving violation.