Friday, June 6, 2008

Even more shorters

She's really been cranking them out this week. I hope Conor Freihofer didn't leave his ritalin behind.

Summer games: Please click the link, so you'll know I'm not making up the following.

Every summer, I like to do one or more contests to help readers pass the time. This month's offering was inspired by a conversation with colleague Ross about people who randomly string together the names of completely unrelated left- or right-wing authors who do not collectively agree with one another on anything, and then claim to have divined support for some position. So: write a coherent and unironic blog post using one of the following opening phrases:
1) As Hegel and Dorothy Day both tell us . . .
5) I know it is unfashionable to say this, but the whipping post could be a humane alternative to prison . . .

6) Few financiers appreciate the fantastic investment opportunities in today's Zimbabwe . . .

7) Joseph Stalin was right about many things . . .
These are jokes people. Laugh!

Don't cry for me, Zimbabwe: No, I don't understand how Eva Peron is relevant here, either. Or how playing catch and release with the entire opposition party relates to the idea inherent in the SW quote that Empires cannot exert complete, authoritarian, control over the entirety of their huge territories. Mugabe, unfortunately, seems to remain in effective power. But hell, at least she's having fun with the bloody mess, right?

Dude, where's my job?: Oh, Megan. How I wish you were saying this unironically. Also, I guess the recession is back on. I wish she would make up her mind about the damn thing.

Cool question:
Survival tips for those who find themselves suddenly transported back to 1000. Mine: your biggest comparative advantage is the ability to read and write, and your knowledge of modern sanitation techniques.
Yes, knowing how to flush a toilet and read a language which doesn't yet exist sure would be useful. Also useful; not eating meat. Tho finding soy milk will prove a little difficult, unfortunately.

Morbid echoes:
Speaking of political assassinations, I'm actually surprised that I haven't heard more fears about Barack Obama. With his echoes of both MLK and Robert F. Kennedy, it's not exactly a far-fetched worry, and we're a little overdue for a lone wacko with a gun. I know the Secret Service is very good at these things, but long distance weapons keep getting better.

What happens if Obama (or McCain) dies before the convention? What about the election? There are all sorts of political implications--if it's before the convention, do you go with Hillary or the VP selectee? Would Obama's supporters rally around her? Would voters chuck a McCain sympathy vote to his second in command?
Speaking of raping babies...

Please don't make it a working weekend, Megan. Think of the poor infant rape victims.

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