Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Details, Details

Glad that brad did the heavy lifting on Megatron vs. Sears Holdings Corp. (And glad I checked before writing anything.) But I can't let thirty-plus secs. of research go to waste.


Lines of type: 176 by Ms. McA., & 10 she quoted. (At 15 wds./line, a conservative estimate, that's 3,640 wds.)

Days of work "lost:" Eight. One quibble: Did she actually lose eight days of pay? (Highly doubtful. Have there been any eight weekdays w/o posting recently?) Because that's what it means when real, hard-working Americans say they've "lost" a day of work. When work consists of writing interminably about your non-adventures w/ the dishwasher repair weasel, & posting from your laptop anywhere in even the semi-civilized world, it's difficult to miss much work.

Added expense: 
nearly $200 in laundry charges 
$3.50/load at the laundromat? Probably not, if "charges" is any indication. Imagine having so many freaking clothes that you don't have to do laundry for 45 days. 
(and to spend about $100 on laundry that had not been done in the past month and a half)
And imagine that you can send your laundry out. (I'm sure we would've heard about trips to the laundromat, had there been any.)

Footnote lost: One. 
 I'm talking about TSA-levels of sophistication*.
Not another asterisk to be seen in the item. Talk about losing one's train of thought. Or driving the train over the washed-out bridge.

Elements of Style©:

A B. A. in English? From Penn? Really.
I actually cannot remember how many times I have pined out the window for the heroic, nay, mythic figure, who never materialized.
I can see her now, extending her branches out the window & letting her cones drop. Most of us "pine" by the window, but Megan may have different ways. Maybe she was projecting her pining throughout the neighborhood.
The amazing thing was that Sears has set up its service program so that, first, you have to wait at home on a work day
Amazing, alright. Working on a work day. What a stupid idea. They should go back to working on Saturdays & Sundays like they used to, when you'd be home all day. What the hell was she trying to get at here? The absurdity of that didn't leap out at her immediately? Well, it's not as if she majored in logic. Or horse sense. BTW, if any outfit could solve that problem of "working on a work day," that ol' market sure would reward them, wouldn't it? Shoot.

Not sure what this category is, but I'm sure it's something:
The nice woman in what sounded like Guatamala [sic] promised to message him right away and have him call me.

At 5:05 a horrified call center operator in what sounded like India informed me that the technician had cancelled my appointment much earlier in the day, on the grounds that it was a "duplicate".
Does mlle. mean that these disembodied voices had accents from the countries they "sounded like" they were in? Or did she have them hold the 'phone out the window so she could hear what country it sounded like? (And how she'd know a Guatemalan accent when she can't spell Guatemala is a good question too.) We're not sure if this an attempt to decry outsourcing, get in an ethnic dig, or what. You'll notice that she doesn't mention what country it sounded like 
"Larry" was in when she got his voicemail:
This put me through instantly to . . . the voicemail of Larry.  The message informed me that Larry is out in the field on Friday, and cannot be reached at this number.  I am pleased, of course, to know that Larry has the opportunity to get out from behind the desk every once in a while and see Sears operations firsthand.  But I am slightly concerned that it is Tuesday and he is still not back.  I am afraid he may not be coming back.  I am afraid that while he was in the field, some errant Sears employee mistook him for a customer.
(I print the entire paragraph because I found it intentionally funny. I actually laughed out loud, though w/o opening my mouth, even the second time I read it. See? There is hope.)

This may also fit into the phenomenon of older whiteys who always find it necessary to note the ethnicity of whomever they've spoken to or transacted business w/, as in "I talked to the nicest colored girl on the 'phone today." Or the "nice woman" in what sounded like...

Enough is enough, but the first line of the first comment is worth noting, for sycophancy if nothing else.
Classic post, and I sympathize.

Updated, minutes later:

Having thoroughly read brad's dissection, I see he questioned the "lost" days of work as well, & whether or not our Muse had moved (doubtless to keep one step ahead of us). She typed something about not having any furniture, making it harder to laze around idly typing while pining out the window for the Sears tech. So maybe she broke the washer in her new pad the moment she moved in. 

1 comment:

Susan of Texas said...

Now we know why it took her so long to pack.