Friday, September 19, 2008

Libertarians are the Funniest People Ever

Mr. Speederdorf makes an appearance again in our little corner of the crap-o-sphere, and Megan chuckles approvingly.

The dork to end all dorks decides to do one better than David Letterman and make a "top eleven" list.

Being unoriginal in a format so monumentally unoriginal is a task in and off itself, but the sheer nonsense that this idiot thinks is a joke is mindboggling:

Top 11 Things That Will Change in the Post 2008 Economy
Oh, God, you can smell the superior libertarian bullshit from a mile away. Some highlights:
10) Ben Bernanke's new bathroom reading: Ron Paul position papers.
Riiiiiighhhttt..... cause Ron Paul was all totally prescient here, and I'm sure his plan to destroy all regulations of any kind what-so-ever would have immediately stopped the bankers from running around taking absurd risks with other people's money without a second thought to the repercussions. Nothing makes you more responsible than knowing that no one is watching. That's why so many banks use the "honor system" for their withdrawals.
9) In updated version of Monopoly, bank no longer makes error in your favor, whichever player has the car must pay $200 gasoline surcharge when passing Go and all the houses -- now peach-pink in color and branded KB Homes -- are held in collective by a massive Chinese investment fund.
Brevity is your friends, Conor. Also your friend, fresh air, females and not following bullshit, self-centered and narrow ideologies that no one with a trace of compassion or an iota of common sense pays any attention to (other than to mock).
7) Sensing that color photos strike false chord during a Depression, National Geographic returns to publishing in black and white.

WTF?!?!??! What in the hell does National Geographic have to do with the economy? Why do I have the feeling that Conor only mentioned this because it's the only magazine he reads and it's just to see the tribal bare boobies?
5) Harvard remains filthy rich; alumni inexplicably continue to give it money.

Um, so I guess the implication here is that Harvard is to blame for this mess. Or something. I don't know. This kid is seriously brain damaged. I think he's another blogger that Megan links to just to make herself look better.
3) Cloning ban overturned to create army of Alan Greenspans.

While Harvard takes all the blame, apparently Conor thinks the man who resided over the entire track laying for this monumental train wreck is just who should be called on to fix it. What's next, suggesting we just need more strong leaders like George W. Bush to get us all straightened out?
1) Lender of last resort: Oprah.

Right, and the corollary to that, I suppose is "Comedian of last resort: Conor Friedersdorf."

This kid's mom really needs to take his computer away before he hurts someone with his poisonous "wit"


spencer said...

So the title of his attempt at humor is "The Top 11 Things That Will Change in the Post 2008 Economy" . . . and his Item Number Five describes something that doesn't, um, change.

See, the key giveaway is the presence of the words "remains" and "continue" - those words are not generally associated with a changing environment.

No wonder Megan likes this douche. He's at least as bad a writer as she is.

bulbul said...

Anybody seen last night's Real Time? According to Sullivan, all of this is the fault of the American people. Bleh.

Susan of Texas said...

Someone even less bright than Megan--wow.

Sullivan needs to find a different way to be important. He's like a trained monkey who thinks he's Plato.