Monday, August 18, 2008

Megan's laws of politics

Megan's Fourth Law of Politics: The party that starts looking for implausible and unprovable conspiracy theories about the opposition candidate is in trouble.
She goes on to compare calling Obama a Muslim to suggesting McCain didn't honor the terms of the evangelical hosted non debate over the weekend, a completely balanced comparison. After all, there are millions of Americans who'd never vote for a guy who seems not to have remained in a "cone of silence" during a time period he had agreed to do so. Apples to apples.
But anyhow, the natural question is what Megan's other three laws of politics are. Fortunately, I can tell you.

  • Megan's Third Law of Politics: You need a high definition tv and secret DC elite cable channels to actually follow politics.
  • Megan's Second Law of Politics: My Mom is a statistically significant polling group.
  • Megan's First Law of Politics: Voters are so stupid they won't even let me tell them what to think. (Codicil: I also don't need to care about what they think.)

There are, of course, further laws and secondary rules. For example,
no job really qualifies you to run the world's only remaining superpower; there's a vast amount that simply must be learned by doing.
We'll call this the Bush Law. (Comes from the same link as the third law.)
Then there's the Law of Endorsement, which says that repeatedly publicly declaring your support for one candidate doesn't mean you can't shill for the opposing candidate or refuse to vote for the one you endorsed.
There are countless more, and if we're lucky Megan will one day collect them in a single volume, proving to the world that politics, like everything else, are really all about her.


clever pseudonym said...

Do you know what is kind of fun? Put that "voters are so stupid" post in the context of your own profession to reveal the truly stunning level of self-important, condescending assholery contained therein:

"I have an advanced degree in dramatic writing. Therefore, I cannot possibly have a meaningful discussion with any of you about that play/movie we've just watched without being bored, since you're ill-informed and don't spend nearly as much time as me thinking about these things."

NutellaonToast said...

See, that's like me with chemistry, only it's true and I'm not being self important.

"I have a Masters in Nuclear Magnetic Resonance spectroscopy of proteins"

"Oh neat, what's that?"

"Got a minute?"

clever pseudonym said...

I think that's a little more specialized than Megan claiming she gets bored talking with non-journalists about current events in general because us little people don't know as much as they do about it. I'm sure not very many people here could hold their own with me in an academic conversation about the work of John Millington Synge, but that doesn't mean I'd be near tears with boredom discussing his medium in general.