Monday, August 11, 2008

No, Megan. we apprecitate it.

Apologies:

. . . for the light posting, by the way--I have some sort of hideous lung infection, and a 10:20 doctor's appointment stretched to nearly one. Insert rant on doctor's office scheduling tactics here. Insert second rant about hideous plague-flu that I acquired from a blogger who shall remain nameless.

OMG! This is my favorite McIdiot post ever. First, she gets all narcissistic and apologizes for not spouting out of her ass enough lately. Yes, Megan, thanks for the apology. Our lives were so hollow in the short time that you left them.

Then, she gets all melodramatic about a fucking chest cold. Wahhh! Hideous lung infection, wahh! Do you have bronchitis? Do you have pneumonia? No? Then shut the fuck up and take some Tylenol like the rest of us.

Wahhhhh, she had to wait to be treated for her completely benign illness. POOR MEGAN! Of course, it's all the doctors fault. I guess she would know, because she spent 5 years working at a doctor's office. Oh wait, no, that was me. Hate to burst your bubble, little-Mrs-Perfect, but doctor's usually only run hours late because they get caught up in emergencies. You know what those are, don't you? They're medical problems exactly the opposite of your FUCKING FLU! Fun fact: doctor's offices would be a lot less crowded if Americans didn't rush to get "fixed" when they have the god damn sniffles.

Finally, she wraps it up with some kind of innuendo or name drop or something. I guess we're supposed to be all impressed cause she hangs out with "bloggers" and gets close enough to actually touch their germs! OHHH, SO DREAMY! I wonder who it was? Was it Matt, who she finally gave that long awaited kiss for on his way out the door, or was it that uppity new guy who brought the germs in from his last office? I hope it's the latter so that we can find out if mademoiselle will "ever go back!!!!!"

In summary: Thank god you were gone! STFU about your flu! Stop complaining about commonplace bullshit and we don't fucking care who you were making out with in the copy room. You're not important. Go away.

6 comments:

spencer said...

Of course she's important. All her sycophants tell her so.

I'm not going over there to check, but I can only imagine how the toadies' tongues are (figuratively) wagging about *who* it could *possibly* be that gave Megan germs . . . just thinking about it makes *me* feel like I have the flu now.

Susan of Texas said...

My lung infections always turn into bronchitis and once became pneumonia. If she doesn't become sicker we'll know she lied about an infection.

Susan of Texas said...

Damn, she admits it was just a cold. No Megan Illness Watch for me.

clever pseudonym said...

I worked in a doctor's office for a few years, too. The thing is, as I'm sure you know, the reason why their "scheduling tactics" run behind isn't just because of emergencies. Sometimes, it's because patients come in and have problems much worse than anticipated or take longer than expected. I don't suppose Megan would want a doctor rushing her treatment along and pushing her out the door just to make sure that nobody has to wait two minutes past their appointment times. But that's what this doctor should have done to his other patients so *she* didn't have to wait. Oh, and they tend to prioritize. If you're coming in for some antibiotics for a minor infection, the guy who just called in because he's experiencing chest pains may be seen before you. Or the guy who thought he just had a headache turned out to have a flipping brain tumor - the doctor may want to spend a little extra time with him, Megan.

But gee, sorry you had to wait. You didn't have to skip your lunch at the five star with Matt because of the selfish asshole with cancer, did you?

brad said...

Well, at least we know Megan didn't use her insurance to cover the visit, because she takes her principles seriously.

Anonymous said...

Wow, she had to wait to see a doctor?!

Is this a sign that the vaunted free-market American health care system is RATIONING services?!?

-Jamey