Also, what's the point of trees?

Huge tracts of land: Graham Chapman called, and he says you make him glad he's dead, Megan. Thank Jebus you're too dull to get Bill Hicks.

Because I've always lived in cities, I don't even understand the utility of the big yards I see in the suburbs. I get the purpose of a yard for children and dogs to play in, and summers on the patio. But I don't get the point of the vast expanses of lawn that lie fallow in the more upscale suburbs. They require vast upkeep for the benefit of . . . looking at green, empty space. And the tradeoff seems to be a world where you can't get anywhere without driving and your neighbors are distant apparitions. Am I missing something? Or do others perceive features where I see bugs?

Now, there's a tiny sliver of a point here, in that man made and maintained lawns are generally not environmentally friendly. They require large amounts of fertilizer, pesticide, and water. They're not as bad as golf courses, but same basic problems.
That said, what the fuck? Megan thinks there is such a thing as too much green space? I have to admit, even in my experiences as a emigre from an upscale suburb to the urban expanses of NYC, I've never heard this gripe before. The problem with the suburbs is there's too much space, and too many plants. Shit, at times you can even convince yourself you're not in an artificially created landscape. And the privacy? The chance to go outside and not have thousands of eyes on you? Ewwwwwww, creepy. If I'm not constantly surrounded by the works of man I get scared, personally.
The idea of private space seems to frighten Megan. That makes sense. If she had to spend time alone, with herself, she might have to think about the kind of person she is. In the city there's always someone nearby to help socialize away self-awareness.