Sunday, September 23, 2007

Breaking News

Associated Press (AP)

In a bizarre incident at a Washington, DC area gun range, famed author Ayn Rand rose from the dead and menaced patrons before being shot down by a popular blogger.

Originator of a philosophy known as Objectivism, the Russian-born Rand died in 1982. Author of the popular novels "The Fountainhead," "Atlas Shrugged" and "We the Living," the un-dead Rand emerged from the ground on Saturday afternoon.

"She kind of got her head and shoulders out of the dirt and then just waved her arms around," said an employee of the gun club. "She was all messed up." Other witnesses reported that Rand seemed to focus on one patron of the club, Megan McArdle, who is a blogger for The Atlantic Monthly's web site. Witnesses say that it was McArdle who finally dispatched Rand.

The local Sheriff's office declined comment on the specifics of the bizarre incident, but confirmed that McArdle was being held for questioning as a witness. "She is not being charged with any crime," a spokesman said, adding that McArdle was "very distraught. It's not something she wanted to do." McArdle, who was uninjured by the zombie, was examined by paramedics and treated for an existing cold.

Witnesses were stunned.

"It was horrible," said Amedee Greene of Silver Hill, MD. "Thank God that girl pulled the trigger, but it was like they knew each other."


M. Bouffant said...

St. Nick on a stick!! If Megatron's got a gun, I'm outta here!! Good luck to the rest of you, but I know which side my enlightened self-interest is buttered on!!

NutellaonToast said...

Guys, you're missing the big picture here. Megan is working on the WEEKEND! WOAH! Granted, I though her analysis of the economics of shooting clay pigeons was a little flat, but it's a start.

Adam Eli Clem said...

Yeah, you're right. I'm guessing that her pissy-pants admonition to Paul Krugman - "You have to blog every day to drive up RSS counts"- finally boomeranged. That, or she needs to push the Jena 6 posts off the front page.

M. Bouffant said...

Now let's be fair, she cranked out a few lines the wknd. of 8-9 Sept. It's just that the next wknd. she was "at a conference," & visiting open houses w/ her sister. Though I've been told that "open houses" are open because they're the ones the realtor can't move, for whatever reason. What an economist, looking at the worst (or least salable) products.
Maybe she's working this wknd. 'cause her shotgun prowess scared away the male members of the "D. C. blogger clique army" & she had to spend the rest of the wknd. alone. Meee-ooow!

Anonymous said...

"McArdle, who was uninjured by the zombie, was examined by paramedics and treated for an existing cold."

That's a mighty fine bit of subtle snarking there.

Adam Eli Clem said...

Thanks, MCH.