Thursday, July 17, 2008

Cheesy Is Right

The entire blog-o-sphere has, of course, been waiting w/ bated breath, & at last it's here!! Approx. 39 lines (not counting ingredients) of Mlle. McArdle's New Improved Mac & Cheese recipe. (May I point out that we're discussing macaroni & cheese here, in case any one's lost sight of that fact?)

Also, it will give you an opportunity to use your scale [sic]

If you don't have a food processor with a grater attachment, grate the gruyere and chedder, [sic] and chop the other cheeses fine. [sic]

Seriously, if you don't have a food processor, you lousy rotten poor person, it's no wonder you're as fat as a fucking pig!!

There's higher-dollar Mac & Cheese w/ white cheddar or something that the good folks (as they used say in the advertising business) at Kraft distribute, if one insists on gourmet fucking everything; I've even seen packages of non-Kraft M&C at places like Trader Joe's that probably are a big improvement on the Kraft crap. Therefore, why the hell anyone would waste an extra 30 seconds of his/her time on making a child's dish from scratch is a total mystery. I thought we weren't supposed to be childish any more.

Elements of Style©:

Velveeta™ is a trademark, & should be capitalized. Please show some respect for the property rights of others, Ms. McArdle. You don't want to have a letter from the house counsel @ Kraft on your permanent record.

And you might want to learn how to spell "cheddar," if you wish to be taken seriously as the world's tallest female food blogger (your future career) or at least click spell check w/ a bit more abandon. (BTW, Blogger's™ spell-check suggests Gruyere should be capitalized as well. One would expect a big ol' free-marketer to be big on capitalization, but such are life's little ironies.)

P. S.: Could anything be more pretentious than crust on M&C?


Parmenides said...

I've never understood it. Mac and Cheese is left over food for when you have a bunch of cheese left over from whatever. Make your macaroni. Mix in cheese a little milk some spices or whatever and then bake it until its done. That is the totality of it. Or make the Kraft shit which I enjoy at times.

clever pseudonym said...

I think mac and cheese is a great comfort food that goes great at things like BBQs. The Kraft shit is also a good, quick meal to add chopped-up hot dogs to when I feel like acting like a kid again.

I put bread crumb crusts on mine when I make it from scratch. It makes a great crunchy topping. But my recipe isn't anything like hers; her recipes are always mindlessly simple or needlessly complicated.

Yes, I am a pretentious foodie. I just don't think it makes me a fascinating person.

M. Bouffant said...

Clever P., please post your M&C recipe chez Megan & challenge her to a bake-off in which her commenters will make each & decide.

Or maybe we should do it here.

Or, you don't have a recipe & just know what you're doing, w/o being hung up on using a scale & food processor, & your recipe may vary from time to time, depending on what's available; & you're not really a pretentious foodie, it's your commentary that makes you a fascinating person.

[end suck-up.]

clever pseudonym said...

Ha. I wouldn't comment at that site if you paid me. I don't even have a recipe. Skilled cooks usually don't need one. They can eyeball simple recipes like mac n cheese without having to bring a Cuisinart and scale into things. Megan claimed to Susan in that post that her recipe won some award. I call bullshit. If a recipe makes me want to vomit out of my nose just reading it, the only award she got was one of those "your poem was so good we want to publish it. All you have to do is buy the book for fifty bucks" types.

And thanks for the suck-up. Right back at you.

a progressive crank said...

Hmm, the home made M&C from James Beard's "On Pasta" is pretty damn good (who knew that a splash of Tabasco™ would make the cheese kick so much ass?). And anyone who doesn't like the burnt cheese on, say, lasagna, pizza, or a baked M&C is missing out.

Not that I agree with the world's tallest female bore on anything of substance, but don't hate on a good dish.