Wednesday, July 9, 2008

More genuine shorters

I like these. They counter balance my inherent long windedness.

Detroit woos gay drivers: Did you know gay people are just like 'normal' people and sometimes own cars? And not just campy pink Cadillac convertibles, either.

Good neighbors: This post is actually a riddle. How can NYC be both less safe and have less crime than DC? The answer will be found in your next fortune cookie.

What's the best car purchase to help the environment?:

Me, I'm buying a used, little car and driving it very little, mostly because it saves gas and makes parking easier. But that's just the kind of selfish rat I am.
Yes, Megan has decided that buying a used Cooper Mini makes her virtuous. Yes, she probably tells herself that her choice of vibrators shows how amazing she is, too.

The Law: Megan's not Jewish, but that doesn't mean she's not a rabbi. She did grow up on the Upper West Side, after all.

Drivers or bikers: who sucks more?:
Government agencies don't pay any sort of taxes; nor do think tanks, NGOs, or most money-losing media organizations.
Therefore all members of this poorly constructed group should not be allowed to use public streets, as none of them provide any kind of public good or contain American citizens going about their fucking lives.

Cringe: It's so sexist to suggest women might not be fascinated with giant exploding phalluses, too. See? Megan totally is a feminist.

Department of kind of awful statistics: Megan is not racist in any way. She has a black friend.

Buy now, pay later: Taxing rich people is ultimately counterproductive. Look at how it devastated the choice location of western upstate New York.

Oil: are we in a bubble?: Megan's not sure, but has she mentioned how great she is to be getting a Cooper Mini?

Do economists really support John McCain?:
How many of the economists who signed the John Kerry letter four years ago could have given you chapter and verse on his economic plans? I bet I could have beaten 99% of them in a quiz on Kerry's policies--aye, even things which made the second page of his position paper.
No.

Gotcha!: A while back, Megan said
if I do say so myself, I'm rather a dab hand at sarcasm, and it's a pity to have a skill one can't use.
Apparently being so polite has left that "dab hand" to grow dull.
My God, pass the sleeping pills--I've lost my faith in humanity, and with it, my will to live.


A slightly longer look at today's bikes versus cars post is on deck.

4 comments:

clever pseudonym said...

I don't doubt Megan has a "dab hand at sarcasm." Sarcasm is easy and doesn't require any skill at all. It's wit and humor that take thought and she has neither.

spencer said...

Wasn't there a rule about mentioning Megan's bits on this blog? If so, I think that talking about her choice of vibrators might be pushing it . . .

Clem said...

On a related note, how the fuck is she going to fit into a Mini?

brad said...

Nah, Spencer. If Megan's going to touch herself in public I'm going to point and say "ew". I just don't think there's any need for graphic detail after the gesture.