Wednesday, July 23, 2008

STOP BLOWING MY MIND ALREADY!

Ah, ever the insightful. What incredible things hath our lady observed today?

Did you know that open mic nights tend to have low quality poetry? I know, it doesn't seem like when you offer a small venue to anyone who wants it that untalented people might partake, but our muse has seen a pattern! Let's hope no one points out to her that the same is true of blogs and that in the electronic case, the really sucky ones even get popular sometimes. Of course, she also admits that she might be somewhat jaded - jaded to the point that she would miss good poetry even if it were shoved down her throat.

In other words, never mind, as usual, her post is just a whack you in the face of waste of time.

Bonus fun:
Her closing paragraph (yes, she penned multiple in her take down of these pernicious coffee house occasions) starts off with these two wonderful sentences:

Which led me to realize that I have never heard good poetry at an open mike night. Which leads me to wonder if it is possible to hear good poetry at an open mike night.
Which left me on the doorstop of the best writing on the internet I've ever seen!

Ah, The Atlantic; the open mic night of political blogging.

And while we're insulting people who are at least trying to be meaningful and take a break from the mundane superficiality that has drenched the entirety of American culture, do you know who else are obnoxious?!?! People who don't own televisions! That's right, because there's nothing more annoying than anyone who dares suggest that there are better things to do than sit in front of the idiot box all day. To be fair, our muse didn't make this scathing criticism of those pesky "intellectuals" all on her own. She is, however, one of the very few to realize how important it is to spread this observation around.

The author she links doesn't have the terrible wit of McTwain, who unleashes this bomb!
Remember, these days, when you say "I don't own a television", you're not just misleading people into believing that you spend all of your spare time reading Proust in the original Sanskrit; you're also signalling that you don't have a Wii. This is a major social liability.
OH, Megan! You're such a card.

Unfortunately, that card is the deuce of shit.

UPDATE: Fixed broken link

12 comments:

clever pseudonym said...

Nutella,
Your "seen a pattern" link is jacked.

To be fair, I kind of agree with her on the point of the annoying people who have to constantly point out that they don't own a TV as if it puts them into the stratosphere of intellectualism or something. It's one thing to spend all day drooling in front of a TV, which is a waste of life. It's another to watch a few hours a week for entertainment and relaxation purposes. But, like the comment Susan highlighted on her blog, her criticism is pretty rich, considering how often she finds it necessary to tell us all how vegan and educated and cultured *she* is. You want to see pretentious doucheness, Megan? Look in the mirror. And that "Proust in the original Sankskit" remark made me whince. Not funny.

NutellaonToast said...

It's not that those kinds of people aren't annoying, it's just that it's such a trite think to point out.

I mean, the fucking Onion article linked is eight years old.

Susan of Texas said...

If I were reading her for information, instead of mocking, I'd be irritated by all the shallow posts. Fortunately I can just point and laugh.

bulbul said...

And that "Proust in the original Sankskit" remark made me whince.
Yeah, me too. What's worse, I spent last few minutes thinking about why this particular remark provoked this particular physical reaction when there's soooo much stupid to chose from...

spencer said...

No, people who don't own a TV are not annoying.

People who don't own a TV and never miss an opportunity to tell you about it? Those people are annoying.

I like my Fox Soccer Channel. And anyone who can't understand that can go and get fucked.

spencer said...

Also, I am going to steal that "deuce of shit" line.

jp said...

Next up from McFardle:

NEWSFLASH!
Didja know some of the karaoke participants at your local bar...sing sorta BADLY?

clever pseudonym said...

If this blew your mind, Nutella, you definitely don't want to visit today. She's posted Youtube clips of "Sesame Street." That might make your brain explode.

Hoosier X said...

Trying to remember the last time someone repeatedly pestered me with the fact that they don't own a television ...

Oh, right.

I can't recall that it has ever happened.

clever pseudonym said...

hoosier,
Just because it's never happened to you, doesn't mean it never happens at all. I've had people do it to me before.

spencer said...

Yeah, Hoosier, I get it from time to time as well. Maybe the difference is that you just don't run with a particularly pretentious crowd.

NutellaonToast said...

I often tell people I don't watch much TV, but that's usually after they yell at me for not knowing about any of the movies currently playing in theaters.