We really need to spend more time with her friends

Megan is boring today, but I managed to run across flabtastic following the link train of another site. Check out this wonderful foray into the world of the English language:

The main problems here would be that nobody uses "surge" that way (indeed, John McCain has a long history of using the term "surge" the same way as everyone else) and also that the short form of counterinsurgency the abbreviation-mad military uses is "COIN." But of course maybe McCain will say that he has a private language in which "surge" means "counterinsurgency" and it's therefore wrong to bother him about this. In which case, I suppose it's hard for anyone to ever prove that he's wrong. But on the other hand if that's what he means, then it's hard to make sense of the claim that McCain was "right about the surge" whereas Obama was "wrong" since if "the surge" is just a generic term for the use of counterinsurgency tactics the I don't think McCain and Obama ever really disagreed.

I can't believe these people get paid to write. I don't notice any typos (though I admit that I can't look at it too carefully or else my eyes start to bleed) so he must've proofread it. How did he not notice that horrible string of horrible transitions and run on sentences slamming into each other from behind like a 100 car pile up after a flash fog over the freeway? Seriously, dude, sentences are supposed to be short and sweet, like that candy bar you're munching on right now. They aren't supposed to be a gigantic pile of lard that present an imposing challenge for us to get through, like your regular meals surely are.

I am at such a loss over these people. They clearly aren't paid for their writing - which is shit. I sincerely hope they aren't paid for their ideas - which are standard shallow tripe. What, in God's fucking name, ARE they being paid for? I understand that The Atlantic was purchased to give a right-wing idiot a respectable name to sit behind, but didn't said idiot realize that hiring a bunch of barely literate monkeys would sink that name faster than a tsunami hitting a swift boat? For fuck's sake, couldn't this dipshit at least put aside some of Fatty Matty's candy allowance for a fucking proofreader?

Maybe he's looking for one. I bet I could fleece the bastard. I'll send in a resume and tell him that, for a mere 50 dollars a blog post, I'll proof everyone in the black hole of talent amd ideas they call "The Voices" section. If he's stupid enough to hire these clowns, he'd probably think that that was a bargain.

UPDATE:

A typo has been brought to my attention in the comments, but I don't give a rats ass. I take time off my paid work to write, my paid work isn't writing.

brad adds:

I ain't paid for this, either, but I fixed a few things. I don't want this place to suffer from internet semi-literacy. Fix your oopsies, co-bloggers. All of yah.

Nutella gets all huffy:

Damn it, I do proof read! So a couple things get past. That just means I'm retarded not a bad writer. Oh, wait....