A basic rule of comedy

is some jokes are too easy to deserve being made. For example:

this is an issue of vital importance. The flag is real. I've seen it. And I certainly don't want a flag-denier as our next president. Just think of what he might do to the national history curriculum . . .

Megan? When infants born in comas think up a joke before you, you shouldn't make it. Jokes are meant to be funny, typically by being in some way unexpected.
I'm just about your biggest critic, and even I'm embarrassed for you when you try to be funny. Just stop. It's pathetic.